1 piece, 2 piece . . . .

Today we attended the Fire, Water, and Ice Festival at the Kearns Fitness Center.  We haven't taken the kids swimming yet this year since we don't have a pass anywhere and it's a lot of work with 3 little ones who can't swim yet. So they were all chomping at the bit for weeks to get to a pool.  Not only is it a lot of work, but to take my family to the pool would normally cost us about $30-$35.  And I'm cheap, so, that's a no.  This was $21 and that included wrist bands for the blow up bounce house thingies and crafts. 

The kids had a great time! Sorry, no photos.  I need to buy a new memory card.  Be glad though, because there are images seared in my mind that may never disappear.  The swimming pool is a dangerous place to take your eyeballs.  Where do I start?  WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING?  I mean, if you are fat, and you ought to know if you are fat, please COVER UP! At least wear a one piece! And if you are really skinny and have a perfect body, I still do not want to see your overly brown bosom squeezed into something the size of my baby's sock! I also didn't really need the chance to study so many tattoos.  Ew! I'm not a tattoo person to start with, but not only did I have to look at scantily clad women, I had to see a tattoo on one man's back of a woman in a bikini.  Who does that?  Why?
 I know that people have imperfections.  I try to shield people from experiencing the gag reflex by wearing swim shorts over my swimsuit, a suit that fully encloses the parts of me up top that identify me as female. 
And this is what really brings me to my point. A new type of swimsuit has emerged in the last few years.  I'm not sure when, but it was pretty dang popular today.  I don't think I saw any skinny people wearing it and so I fear that I might be correct in thinking that it FALSELY gives off the impression to the wearer that they look GOOD, when in fact the women wearing this style of suit did NOT look good! I think I might set a record for exclamation marks in this particular post.  Anyway, this suit, what dare I call it?  It's not a two piece, not technically.  And I guess if you were very strict you might define it as a one piece, but like a mullet, it changes personality depending on whether your view is from the front or back. From the back- bikini.  From the front- one piece with the sides missing.  From the side- UGLYORAMA TO THE EXTREME! The people wearing this suit were trying to cover up fat stomachs, but you could still see them. In fact, you could see them very well since the suit kind of gaped in the front and the belly was fully visible from the side.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?  This is ugly! This is super, nasty, mega, cover up your belly rolls UGLY! I do not want to see belly roll fat.  I can look at my own fat any time for free!
And please let me point out that this is not a rant against overweight people.  It is a rant against immodesty exercised by people who are not models.  Nobody who has ever had a child and has a normal body would look good in this style of swimming suit.  Many of the people wearing this style were young girls and teenagers who are overweight.  What happened to the one piece? Is it dead? Or even a tankini with a long top that doesn't ride up? Can we not put on something flattering and modest that allows us to go swimming without constantly adjusting to cover up our bare essentials, or, even worse, no adjusting and the resulting mental scarring of not only my mind, but my innocent boys' minds? 
And how about the little girl in the bikini with a butterfly on the back? Well, a mutilated butterfly.  The top half was on her top and the bottom half was on her, well, bottom.  Who cuts a butterfly in half so that a child can mimic adults and wear a bikini?  You might be able to tell by now that I am not a fan of bikinis. I think little girl's should be little girls in sweet one piece swimming suits and not have their bellies hanging out for all to see.  I think grown up women should behave the same way.  Put something on ladies! Pick something that you can wear down the slide and actually enjoy yourself instead of holding on to your suit! And get rid of the mullet suits- they don't suit anyone!