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| Emmeline got a butterfly at the hospital and a monkey in the ambulance. |
On Christmas day my 5 year old, Audrey, came down with a fever. It turned out to be some strange gastrointestinal sickness that came with a nasty fever. She just threw up one time, clear fluid with some mucous. She ate normally. Still, I knew it was likely to spread. Emmeline often climbs into bed with Audrey. She was doomed.
The day after Christmas started out as a lazy Christmas break day. The kids played with their new stuff and around 11 I had the boys set up our new Instant Tent in our big upstairs family room. The kids were going to have a sleepover in it. Emmeline had started to act sick about an hour before this, crying and dry heaving, so I put her down on the couch. She was in a deep sleep and completely oblivious to what was going on around her.
I don't know what time things actually happened because I wasn't really looking at clocks. Sometime around 12 I had kids get food out to eat. I took a shower and got dressed. I was sitting around upstairs when Reuben started to check on Emmeline and told me she was sleeping with her eyes half open and it was creepy. I hollered, "Leave her alone! Don't wake her up!"
Emmeline started to cry. I came in, annoyed that he had woken her up. She slid off the couch and stayed crumpled on the floor. I told Reuben to pick her up and put her back on the couch. I'm still not supposed to be picking her up for at least another week. Reuben gently laid her back on the couch and as I tucked the blanket around her she looked me in the eyes and said, "Mommy, stay with me!" or something like that. I told her I wouldn't leave her.
She immediately threw her head back. Her eyes became fixed. Her hands tightened like claws and began to jerk. This lasted for just a few seconds and then she stopped moving and was limp.
She wasn't breathing.
I told Reuben to call 911. I grabbed her, yelling at her to breathe, trying to get her to respond to me. She appeared dead. Her eyes were lifeless, no recognition, but just staring blankly. I ran with her downstairs, imploring with her to come back to us, begging her to start breathing.
I knew that she might be having a seizure because of how it started, but I had never witnessed a febrile seizure, and this wasn't like the seizure I watched my brother have many years before. He was shaking and still breathing.
I laid Emmeline down on the floor and decided to check to see if her jaw was locked. I shoved my finger between her teeth, which were clenched. Of course she bit me- really hard. I didn't care though because I knew for sure it was a seizure.
It felt like an eternity. As I panicked, begging her to breathe, at this point holding the phone and talking to 911, I thought of my friends Paul and Julia who lost their daughter this year. I think of them often, hurting for them. I thought of my baby cousin who passed away suddenly very recently. Was I about to walk in their shoes? You never know. I hurt so much for them, but I don't want to know how much they hurt.
Emmeline started to breathe! I think it was about 2 minutes that she didn't breathe.
But, she still wasn't really with us. She was non-responsive and breathing shallowly.
The paramedics arrived. Emmeline started to cough and cry.
They put her on oxygen, took her blood sugar, and put on an oxygen monitor. She started to scream. I was glad. Everything was crazy. I sent the kids to get an adult neighbor and told Reuben to call Judd. I grabbed things for a bag. My sister called and told the child who answered the phone that her baby had been born! We left in the ambulance.
Emmeline became more alert about 10 minutes into the ambulance trip. She started to look me in the eye again and respond to what people were saying. Then she would go insane again and start screaming. She threw up the medicine. That was the only time she threw up, but it meant a tylenol suppository was in her future.
I've never ridden on a stretcher, but the paramedics had me climb on and hold Emmeline because she was inconsolable when we reached the hospital. We rode in and got seen right away. Emmeline was fine, but they just wanted to make sure. She had her urine tested and was monitored for about 4 hours. Daddy joined us shortly after we arrived. By the time we were ready to go home, the tylenol had kicked in and she was telling all of the hospital personnel her jobs and the definition of the word ambiguous. She was truly back.
And she is fine. We learned a lot about febrile seizures during our visit. They cannot be prevented, even by keeping your child on tylenol around the clock. They happen when a fever spikes quickly and the brain literally reboots. Often the first sign that the child is sick is the seizure. That's how fast it can come on. I knew Emmeline had a fever, but I was waiting for her to throw up before medicating her. The doctors told me that even if I had medicated her, it still would have happened. Febrile seizures occur most often in children under 5 and there can be a family link. Her chance of having another febrile seizure is about 30%, not for this illness, just sometime in the future. But because this was her first and she is relatively old and because it happened with a fairly high fever( 103 in her ear), the chances are lower. I cannot imagine experiencing it again. It was horrifying. I thought I was holding my dead child in my arms. And now I feel both grateful that she is okay and increased sorrow for my friends and family who have lost a child. I had only a glimpse of the feeling, the fear of it happening to me. Time stood nearly still. I could see nothing but her. She was never really in the danger that I thought she was in, but it felt like it to me, just for those 2 minutes. You never know how much time you have on earth with your loved ones, but I know that I have now, and I know that we can have eternity.
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