The Gerbil and the Hamster

Once upon a time in a land far far away from the arid desert we call Utah, there was a girl with a bad idea.  She didn't know she had a bad idea.  She was lulled into complacency by her predictable life.  Humid, hot day after humid, hot day she followed the same routine- get up, get dressed, eat a bowl of cereal with a big scoop of sugar added, go to school, snarf down lunch, come home, do homework, practice piano, watch TV, play, eat dinner, go to bed. . . repeat.  The monotony was broken up by weekly Girl Scout meetings, lessons, church, and small brothers committing vile acts upon their older and sweeter sister. The girl was bored.  She didn't have miniature computers to distract her from exploring the world, so she did- to free herself from the boredom.

She explored her world, all without leaving her property.

She twirled under the blossoms of the peach tree in her backyard.

She hid in the small but tall grove of bamboo in the corner, nestled on an average sized plot in reality, but transported to an Asian jungle in her mind.

She turned on the sprinkler and invited the fairies to dance with her and she hopped and fluttered in "Water World".

She played records and sang her heart out.

She ground up grass and flowers and painted on the sidewalk.

She hung upside down on the high up jungle gym, watching cars mosey through the alley behind her house.

She arranged blankets into mountains, boxes into furniture, and mud into pies.

She read book after book after blessed, wonderful, fascinating book.

When she felt quiet, she put her heart into words on a paper.

But, one day, one fateful day, that girl, that young girl, had that bad idea.

She had  2 gerbils.  And her sister had a hamster.  They looked just as bored to the girl as she felt inside.  Her mother agreed with her.  Her sister agreed with her. Sometimes female relatives ALL have the SAME bad idea.

They all had a healthy appreciation for science and experimentation.

So
They
plopped
the
hamster
into
the
gerbils'
cage.

The girl did not have the wondrous and magical thing you know as the INTERNET. If she had, perhaps she would have looked up her idea first and read something like this:

Socialization Needs

Gerbils are social animals, known for living in pairs and even large colonies. Without the proper stimulation, gerbils housed alone are prone to depression and more susceptible to other health problems. Hamsters, on the other hand, are primarily solitary animals that prefer to live alone. Known for their territorial nature, when confronted by other animals, hamsters will attack. Because of these drastically different social needs, gerbils and hamsters should never be placed in the same cage together.

But, alas, if she had done that, this story would sit in the library of stories that never were, and you, dear reader, would be doing something else entirely right now. Instead, she really and truly did place the hamster into the cage with the gerbils.  Silly, silly girl. 

The image of what commenced next would never be erased from her mind. The previously sluggish hamster and the frisky gerbils reacted as if the very floor of the cage had turned to hot lava!

POP! HOP! POP! HOP! HOP!

Flying furballs bounced off the ceiling of the cage! Fur flew and little fangs were bared and snapping! 

Bounce! Snap! Bite! Squeal!  

To her credit, the girl VERY quickly understood what YOU could have learned from a boring internet search. Risking at least one limb, she reached into the cage and grabbed the now feral-ish hamster, previously deceptive with its cute little face and furry teddy bear-like appearance, and plopped it back into its own cage, forever doomed to live out its life in solitude.  

The moral of the story:  Well, I think it should be pretty obvious, but maybe it isn't, especially to those who grew up with screens in their faces and not very much mud under their nails.  The moral is- Don't put the hamster in the gerbil cage.  What? Did you think I was going to say something profound?  Sorry. This is just a story about a girl who had a bad idea.  

THE END