True Stories from the Front of the Minivan: 3,500 Miles Later

If you are friends with me on facebook, and most of you are if you are reading this, you know that my family recently took a roadtrip.  I made it look really good on facebook.  But, here, and now, with plenty of while space in front of me, I'm going to spill the real deal, well most of it anyway.  Here are 25 truths about our road trip. The include the good, the bad, and the ugly.  If you want to cling to the idea that everything was fairy tale perfect, return to my facebook page and look at my photos again. For the rest of you, enjoy reality:

1. Judd and I didn't sleep much the night before our trip. He got 4 hours of sleep and I got 2. Luckily, we made it to Boise alive the next evening.

2. Three hours into the trip, just as I started driving, I notice the check engine light was on!  NO! We had just had the van serviced the day before.  Luckily, again, it ended up being due to the gas cap not being properly tightened when we filled up.

3.  I thought staying with someone I had never met might be awkward, but Lizzie Buchmiller, her cute baby, hubby, and his Mom and brother were all really nice and we greatly enjoyed our night with them. It was honestly a highlight of the trip for me.

4. Soda Springs, ID. . . . the blowhole geyser thing was kind of cool. It goes off every hour because it's controlled.  Apparently, it was messing up Old Faithful.  But, what isn't cool is the free mineral water that is bubbling up from the ground at a nearby park.  It's a lovely setting, but the water tastes like a rusty pipe. Judd loved it and drank several glasses. The rest of us gagged and spat repeatedly to get the nasty taste to leave our mouths.

 

5. Camping "on the Oregon coast". . . I was hoping to actually be camping on the beach, but it was about a 3 minute walk.  That was still cool.  We were super cold and got hardly any sleep, which resulting in us all waking up at 5 AM and being the very first people on the beach to hunt for sand dollars. We didn't take them ALL, but we took most of them.  You snooze, you lose.

6. Tillamook Cheese factory was a free self guided tour and it was a very pleasant and interesting experience.  Less pleasant was the experience an hour later when Audrey expelled her Tillamook cheese and chocolate milk all over the back of the car.

7. Seattle. . . it was a lot of fun to have dinner and hang out with my cousin Christine Larsen and her family.  The Space Needle was interesting and so was the Chihuly glass exhibit, but what I found to be the MOST interesting thing was all of
the Toyota Prius' in Seattle.  In SLC, my orange car is pretty rare, but they use them as taxi's there and tons of people drive them, so they were all over the place!

8. The Redwood Forest is as cool as everyone says it is.  Usually, I feel disappointed when I see something I've seen pictures of before. It's never as big as I thought, or as grand. But, those trees are bigger than I imagined and, well, simply breathtaking. The mosquitoes were less breathtaking, and more bloodsucking.  Bring bug spray!

9. We made our kids watch the TV series Avonlea on the trip. It took about 8 hours of it before they got into it, but now they are hooked.


10.  San Francisco. . . It was a lot of fun to walk around Pier 39.  We loved seeing the Zoltar machine, the chocolate store, and the left hander store.  This was also the only time that one of our kids got lost.  Thank goodness that Emmeline knew to get a store keeper to help and was able to provide him with my name, number, and the store we were walking towards.

Alcatraz

11. Another interesting thing about San Francisco is that Clara was able to walk around wearing a Sponge Bob SquarePants robe for 3 hours without getting any strange looks.  Um, okay.

12. One of the things that I did to help me stay awake, and also to keep the kids from fighting, was to make up songs while driving.  The favorite of the trip has the following lyrics:

I feel jiggly
I feel wiggly
I feel brainless
I think I am a jelly fish

You wish you knew the tune now, don't you?

13. We managed the stay in 9 different places over 12 days, and only lost one mousepad and a pair of tennis shoes.  I feel pretty good about that.

14. We went to a waterfall in Oregon that was stunning- Multnomah Falls. It was free and easy to see it.  People were just as stunned by the waterfall as they were by a family with 6 kids. Really. We were an oddity everywhere we went.

15. Getting on a cruise ship with 6 kids turned out to be quick and easy.  I was expecting it to take a long time, but we showed up as early as possible and got right on for a delicious buffet lunch. Reuben spent 5 minutes walking around and then declared there wasn't that much to eat. Apparently, 7 sandwich choices is subpar. However, they were quite pleased with the 24 hour access to ice cream.

 

Emmeline and Audrey slept through dinner on the second night

16. My kids were horrified by all of the drinking and exposed skin on the cruise ship.  And the smoking, And the pornographic 3D decor in one part of the ship.  Many of them decided they would rather not cruise on a "fun" ship again, but wanted to know if there were any Mormon cruise ships. Other cruise highlights were the two barfing episodes, one fever, kids club fun, delightful night time dining, and the water slides at the top of the ship. 
 


17. Ensenada, Mexico was also disappointing to our kids. We walked around and shopped, and tried not to see the ceramic porn being sold at most stands. And I was utterly disappointed that the only Mexican vanilla for sale for the same stuff I can buy at Walmart- but it cost more in Mexico! We did find some other nice things to buy.

 

18. When we disembarked on Sunday, we wore our church clothes.  We always wear dresses and suits on Sunday. It was sad that many people remarked on our attire and were surprised by it.

19. The LDS ward in a sprawling country town in Washington where we visited on our first Sunday got a C for friendliness. We were in our seats 10 minutes before the meeting started. Many people walked past us, but not one person acknowledged us, until the meeting was over and one Young Woman in the hallway invited my daughter to class. Good for her!  And thank goodness we weren't investigators. We wouldn't have felt very welcome.

20. We drove through Portland, OR 3 times.  Once was one time too many. The traffic was horrendous.  Utah drivers are extremely rude, but at least the traffic isn't all that bad compared to the big cities we passed through.

21. It is possible to fit all of the luggage and camping supplies for 8 people for 12 days in the back of a Sienna minivan, as long as you wear your clothes twice and wash halfway through.  And making everyone share a toiletry bag and a pajama bag and a church bag and casual clothes bags. . . you get the picture. . . was a fantastic decision.

22. Las Vegas. . .third exposure to porn .  I don't know what people like about Las Vegas.  As a person who would never ever gamble, not even for fun, I don't feel like the entertainment is worth the gaudy atmosphere. Not only was it unreasonably hot, but our hotel rooms ended up being smoking rooms. They were non-refundable, so we were going to leave and lose our money, when the gal at the desk magically was able to get us into non-smoking rooms that weren't available the first time I asked.

All that glitters isn't gold

23. I had my first meal at Costco, and I was pleasantly surprised.  It may not have been super healthy, but the pizza was very filling and the churro was surprisingly delicious.


24.  Eating out with 8 people at fast food can be quite the experience.  At nearly every restaurant we visited, our order was messed up. These were not small mistakes either.  They would miss 4-6 items per order.  After this happened 3 times, we started ordering in two separate orders. Another thing I learned is that my homemade salads are so much better than the ones at Wendy's, Burger King, McDonald's, and Jack in the Box.  For $7 you should get more than lettuce and some tomatoes as your veggies.  Next time, I think I'd be happier keeping salad supplies in my cooler.  On the plus side, it was AMAZING to not cook for 12 days or clean anything at all.  AMAZING!!!!

No cooking! Muhahahahahahahah!!!!!

25. There's no place like home. By the time we got home and finished unpacking, everyone was thrilled to sit down to a simple dinner of spaghetti.  I think three of my kids actually said that it was the best meal they'd had in two weeks!  Ha! Kids are so funny!  But, seriously, the trip was fun.  It was educational. It was bonding. It was exhausting. And it was so nice to come home.

Oakland Temple

The Weirdest Church Calling I Ever Had (and probably none of you have had)

While chatting with a young lady who is about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime, attending my alma mater, Brigham Young University, I had the chance to reminisce about church callings.  I shared with her the story of meeting my husband through our mutual church calling during my second year of college, which was teaching Sunday School together every other Sunday.  We couldn't get our lessons planned, so. . . .we decided to date and the rest is history.

Anyway,  in a BYU ward, a VERY high percentage of the students accept church callings. Student wards lack nursery (really little people), Primary (medium little), and youth groups (bigger young people). The only  "old" people are in the bishopric, so pretty much every single ( no pun intended) person is able bodied and excited to serve. This presents a bit of a challenge for the bishop who must create and assign callings for an entire congregation within the first few weeks of school starting.   It's a daunting task, and to add to the challenge, there just aren't enough traditional callings to give one to every person. So, they get creative, resulting in things like two people teaching a class at the same time and only teaching every other week.  On top of that, BYU wards have multiple Sunday School classes, whereas most family wards have only one or two. So, we had something like 16 Sunday School teachers instead of 2-3. This was a pretty smart way to come up with callings.

However, in my Freshman ward the year before, the calling that I got wasn't quite. . . legitimate.  They say there are no small callings. They say there are no made up callings. But, well, I'm not sure I can agree with those things that "they" say. My calling was Relief Society Board Meeting Spiritual Message Leader.  That sounds good, right? Right? It's a nice long title and it included the word "Leader".

WRONG.

There's a chance that it could have been a decent, albeit incredibly easy calling.  But, it wasn't. And it was so disappointing.  I came to college straight from Vladivostok, Russia, where I was the only LDS teenage girl in a city of many millions of people.

I was used to being needed.

I was used to playing the piano for sacrament meeting, going on splits with missionaries, and doing anything and everything that was needed. I was used to being an example to the new members of our church.  And I was used to sacrificing- traveling an hour to and from church on public transportation with bad weather most of the year, going to more than one branch, being cold and hungry, all for the sake of the Gospel.

So, let's get back to my made up calling.  A Relief Society Board consists of the presidency of the women's organization, the teachers, the music people, the visiting teaching people, and the activities people.  It's a bunch of people.   I was asked to come to their monthly planning meeting and give them a VERY short inspirational thought. Think 5 minutes or less, but they really wanted it to last about 60 seconds.  After the prayer and my thought, the girls would divide up according to the different groups and plan things.

I was awkwardly excused to leave.  See, they didn't know what to do with me.  I wasn't needed, wanted, or welcomed to join a committee and help plan anything.
I'm not sure what the bishop intended with that calling, but the way it was implemented was an epic fail.  Instead of feeling needed, I felt like the fat kid on the playground, the oreo cookie that missed the frosting machine, like the banana popsicle, like the overpriced leftover Easter candy at Reams: nobody wanted me.   Luckily, I had good self esteem. Even though the monthly snub was hurtful, I didn't let it seep into the rest of my life.  I adored my experience in college and most of my experiences were truly wonderful.  But, the unintended lessons I learned remained.

People need to feel like they are needed.  If somebody wants to help, let them. That seems so obvious, but sometimes people in leadership positions can't let go of control enough to allow others to contribute. It would have been nice to be invited to stay for the meeting and maybe help formulate ideas for activities, or something.  Sometimes Moms get so good at being "domestic goddesses" that they fail to teach their kids how to cook, clean, and do their own laundry.  Sometimes people get stuck in a rut of doing something themselves because they can do it better than the people "under" them.  It's easy to think this way and it takes some conscious effort to turn this kind of thinking around, to see the damage that is being done.  People not only need to feel needed, but they will never become better at doing laundry by watching Mom do it for them.  Just like I have to do my own physical therapy for myself if I want to get stronger, I have to apply that principle to my work with others.  I have to let my kids do their own homework, laundry, and room cleaning, with assistance from me, but responsibility on them. And when I rule the universe next year as PTA president, um, I mean, when I facilitate the PTA program and activities next year, I need to let every person help who wants to help. And I need to step back and let them all do their best, even if it's not as good as I could have done. And let's face it, most of the time it is going to be so much better than what I would have done.  I am one person struggling to hold it all together.  I don't need to rule the world.  Maybe Relief Society Board Meeting Spiritual Message Leader is just right for me.

Courageous Parenting- Lusty Lyrics and other Musical Maladies

My husband recently brought up the fact that our little girls aren't treating each other in the kindest manner lately.  There has been a lot of yelling, hitting, and arguing going on.  As we have tried to figure out why this is happening, one thing stands out as a possible, even likely, contributor, to this problem.

It is music.

  One of our daughters loves modern music.  She checks it out from the library in the form of KidzBop CD's.  She watches music videos online, with permission of course.  She is constantly singing current music, and I have no idea where she learns it!  

I don't usually listen to radio music.  When I was a kid, my dad said we couldn't listen to music on the radio.  The only exceptions were the Oldies and Classical.  I led a very sheltered musical life.  We owned cassettes of show tunes, church music, jazz, movie soundtracks, kid music and opera.  People thought I was weird, and I didn't understand a lot of references.  I may have been naive, but I'm grateful for it.  

I just read an article that shows a link with the lyrics in music and our behavior. This isn't a new thing, but here's just another study backing up what we all know to be true inside.  Music affects us.  

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865652703/Literal-lyrics-The-effects-of-sex-violence-and-misogyny-in-popular-music.html?pg=3

“Music will do exactly what it is written to do. How you put lyrics to music and what music you choose to listen to affects just about every part of your life,” he said. “The thing I want to do is teach my students how to make their own decisions based on how things make you feel and act. Do they go along with your moral compass? There’s a ton of good in almost all genres, but there are some that are a subculture. They intend to be bad, and they want to drag people to a dark place. It can take you to the highest peaks and lowest valleys.”

I'm not alleging that all modern music is bad.  Nope. That would be stupid.  And I'm not stupid.  What I am saying is that the lyrics in the music we listen to MATTER.  They affect us profoundly, whether we want them to affect us or not.  And we need to be aware that the artists who write these lyrics are also profoundly aware of their messages- they are intentional.  

I told my daughter that I thought she was listening to some songs that might not have the best messages.  I asked her to tell me a song she likes, and we looked up the lyrics. As I read them out loud, possibly mixed with some mocking, and my family guffawed, it became apparent that the message was not wholesome. I offer up one of the songs and my uncensored analysis ( in red) to prove my point.  "Call Me Maybe"

I threw a wish in the well, 
Don't ask me, I'll never tell
( but she actually does tell)
I looked to you as it fell,
And now you're in my way
  (what does this even mean?)

I'd trade my soul for a wish,
( and we now introduce the devil, and her willingness
to trade her soul for her shallow desires)
Pennies and dimes for a kiss
I wasn't looking for this,
But now you're in my way
 (still wondering what this means, but it sounds rude at the least)

Your stare was holdin',
Ripped jeans, skin was showin'
( immodest dress, and I don't want to know about it)
Hot night, wind was blowin'
Where do you think you're going, baby?
(This is not a nice way to talk, and why is she calling him baby? They just met, according to the next line)

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
(It is crazy)
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!
(What does she mean by maybe? I don't really care, but I don't want my 8 year old listening to a song about a girl who would sell her soul and gives out her number to strangers.)

It's hard to look right
At you baby,
(Why? This is just weird, and I don't like it)
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!
( I'm having the bad kind of dejavu)

And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
( I also don't want my 8 year old thinking about boys chasing her)
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!
( and I'm getting tired of these lyrics)
You took your time with the call,
I took no time with the fall
You gave me nothing at all,
But still, you're in my way

(What did she expect him to give her?  Is she alluding to intimate behavior?  I'm not sure.  I'm not sure what this means at all, except that it is not a nice way to talk)

I beg, and borrow and steal
(so now she's a thief?)
At first sight and it's real
( No, it is not real)
I didn't know I would feel it,
But it's in my way
(So, is she saying she fell in love at first sight, and she's annoyed by that?  Not sure, but the notion of love at first sight is ridiculous .The correct term is LUST)

Your stare was holdin',
Ripped jeans, skin was showin'
Hot night, wind was blowin'
Where you think you're going, baby?

( I like this even less the second time)

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

It's hard to look right
At you baby,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

(So, she couldn't think of any more lyrics, since there isn't much to say about a relationship that doesn't exist, so she just repeats the same thing over and over.)

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
I missed you so bad
I missed you so, so bad
( This is just inane, and again, a concept I don't want my child romaticizing, that you could miss someone you've never met. I don't want her looking for instant love)
Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
And you should know that
I missed you so, so bad (bad, bad)

It's hard to look right
At you baby,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!
( Why is it hard to look right at you baby?)
Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
I missed you so bad
I missed you so, so bad

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
And you should know that

So call me, maybe!

( and yet again a repeat of the same ridiculous stuff as before)
So in summary, this song is about a girl who sees a boy at a wishing well, where she is willing to sell her soul for some LUST.  One of them is dressed immodestly, not sure which.  She gives him her number and then plays hard to get, but she's also madly in love with him and wants him to know that other boys are chasing her, and that she would MAYBE like him to call her.  Oh, and she might be a thief. 

Okay, I'm done writing in red. All joking aside, this song may not be about violence or obviously about sex.  But, what is it about?  Lust?  Confusion?  Talking rudely and disrespectfully?  What is the message that it sends to my daughter?  What thoughts and feelings does she have when she sings it?

Is it VIRTUOUS,
LOVELY,
of GOOD REPORT,
or PRAISEWORTHY?
-see 13th article of faith

Well, no, it isn't.  There is nothing in the message of this song that I want my children carrying in their minds or hearts.  These are not the words that I want popping up to help them make decisions or to comfort them in trying times.  Yet, somehow, it's creeping into our lives.  And I'm finding myself at a crossroads. This thing could go either way, and I have the power to direct and guide the course.  I have that parental premonition that is warning me RIGHT NOW to do something.  It isn't that we don't already have rules and that we haven't already strived to model good music listening habits. We do have rules to listen to good music. We try to only listen to songs with good messages.  But, as technological access explodes exponentially, the game is changing.  I cannot just TELL my kids not to listen to "bad" music and protect them by keeping it out of my home.  I have to TEACH them to choose wisely.  I can and I will ban inappropriate music in my home, but in order to truly reach my children, I need to also teach them the principles behind WHY and help them choose for themselves.  So, as silly as it seems, this game of analyzing the lyrics is very serious, and it is going to be our new musical activity for my daughter and the songs she likes.  I will sit down with her and guide her in creating and applying a litmus test to determine if a song is a good choice.  The questions might look something like this:

How do I feel while listening to this song?

What do I think about?

Do I feel like I want to help, serve, or be kind?

What is the message?

What is this song about?

Does this song promote anything that is against my personal code of conduct or my beliefs?

I think the biggest danger in songs, for my kids anyway, isn't in the blatantly obvious "dirty" songs, but in the songs that become wildly popular- the ones that get sung and danced to in school dances, talent shows, on the playground, and on the bus.  I can't stop any of that from happening, but I can help my kids to become aware of the lyrics and to make conscious choices not to be subconsciously brainwashed by them.  Music bypasses our defenses. It is a powerful tool that can be used to bring us closer to God or to encourage carnal desires.  Words alone are so powerful.  Catchy tunes combined with words creates an invasive message, whether we want it stuck in our minds or not.  The songs we listen to over and over embed themselves into our souls.  Right now, as I wrap this up, a song is playing in my head- unintentionally, but surely welcome.  "Be still my soul. The Lord is on thy side. With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.  Leave to thy God to order and provide; in every change he faithful will remain. Be still, my soul, Thy best, thy heavenly friend thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

I'm ready.  I know God is on my side.  I know He will help my husband and me to balance teaching our daughter about good music so that she, and our other kids, can consciously choose music that is praiseworthy. 

I'm too busy and stressed out, so I think I'll be PTA President

If I weren't me, I would think I was full on crazy.  As it is, I know that I am only a little bit crazy.  In a blog post in January, I opened up and shared the struggles I've been having for the last 7 months or so with anxiety and chronic pain.  Not knowing these things were coming, last Spring I felt prompted to take a year off from intense PTA service, just helping here and there as I've been able.

So, what changed?  Strangely, nothing has changed.

Well, that's not true.  One thing has changed. The answer to the question changed. Last year when I prayed and pondered about being on the PTA board, the answer was clearly "No".  This year, when I prayed about the idea of being PTA President, the answer is yes.

I'm still plagued with random anxiety.  I still wake up almost every day with a sense of dread.  I still experience scattered episodes of heart pounding, muscles tensing, and irrational feelings.  But, I don't feel it all the time and I know it passes.  I still don't know why I have so much pain in my foot. . . both feet now.  I don't know if it's muscular or neurological.  I have started to be aggressive in trying to figure it out and I'm hopeful to find some answers in the next few months.  Since I fell down a few steps last week and sprained my "good" ankle, I will be going to PT soon for both feet. And I get to see a neurologist on Friday. Hopefully some really painful nerve testing is in my future. I'm ready to face whatever the answers may be.
Anyway, so why would a person experiencing these trials, with 6 very busy kids, decide to be PTA President?

People get answers to prayers in different ways. Some people hear spoken words, some find answers in scriptures or words from a person, feelings, or thoughts in their minds. However they come, they are accompanied by a confirmation from the Holy Ghost. They bring peace, a lasting peace, and an ability to move forward with faith, acting on the prompting or answer.  For me, when the answer was no, I felt a stupor of thought.  It was like a mental wall that would not allow me to even consider the possibility of serving on the PTA Board.  When the answer was yes, it was like a seed had been planted in my mind and heart and it was growing like crazy. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and ideas just started flooding my brain. I also felt the warm tingly feeling in my heart when I prayed about   So, I'm supposed to be PTA President. Wow!

I am really excited to do this! And my friends and family have my back, so I know I won't be alone.  One of the things that we do at our school is pick a theme for the PTA for each year.  Many PTAS have a fundraising theme, something cute to encourage parents to join the PTA. But, we take it one step further by having a theme that we use throughout the year.  The school joins along in using and implementing the theme.  It's kind of a big deal.  In the past we've had themes such as:

Heroes ( Super Hero Fox)
Team Fox Hills
Shoot For the Stars (May the Fox Be With You - Jedi Fox)
Building a World of Education ( minecraft and lego)
Unless ( From the Lorax, Unless someone like you cares a whole lot, nothing's going to change, it's not)  We did Dr. Seuss stuff all year

So, it's my turn to pick a theme.  Our school is Fox Hills.  I'm going with . . . . .imagine a very awesome drumroll right now. . . . . . . . . . .

F. O. X.

This stands for Focus on Excellence.

This theme has a two-fold meaning for me.  The first is to encourage the children to focus on their talents rather than dwelling on their weaknesses.  Every person ever born has something special about him/her, one or more talents that should be discovered, developed, and celebrated.  While it's important to be aware of our weaknesses and to work on them, I want to focus on the kids' strengths and potential.  I want them to focus on their strengths- and to focus on the strengths of others as well. That leads into the second component of what this theme means for me.  When we look for talents in ourselves and others, it is easier to let go of the natural inclination to be competitive.  While there is a time for competition, most of the time, in real life, is not the time to compete, but a time to work together. At a meeting a few months ago, my friend Jennette Booth, said something in a way that really touched me.  It was about serving in the church, but it applies in life.  She said that when we come together we bring our weaknesses and our strengths.  We may be strong where our friend is weak, and our friend may be strong where we are weak.  Our weaknesses can be likened to gaps.  When we come together, work together, and help each other, we fill each other's gaps. This fusion of friendship creates something unique that we couldn't do alone.  Our talents combine and strengthen not only each other, but the group as a whole, and we are stronger than the sum of our parts.

I am counting on FOX to get me through being PTA President.  I'm counting on a lot of parents volunteering and bringing their strengths to the table.  I'm counting on my kids stepping up and filling in some the gaps to help me out. I know my husband will help. He's already volunteered to be Reflections Chair! It's going to be a wild ride, but I know I'm supposed to do it. So, even though I announced this on facebook on April Fool's Day, it's not a joke.  I'm really going to be PTA President next year!  I plan to get a lot of volunteers by using my "Texas" smile when I ask for help.

Save A Life: Pedestrian Safety

This morning while taking my son to school, my husband came upon the scene of an accident that had occurred mere seconds earlier.  A pedestrian had crossed in front of traffic that was weaving through a special left turn area for turning left onto Redwood Road from 5400 South.  These new additions to our roadways are called continuous left turn lanes. The cars wait at a light much earlier than the intersection. When their light turns green they are guided on a road that takes them to the other side of the road from normal traffic flow( to the left) where they are then able to turn left while the rest of traffic proceeds with the green light.  These lights work great, but I guess the pedestrian was confused.  He crossed 5400 South while the cars had the green light to head over to the left side of the road and turn left. I think he lucked out as it seemed as if he only had his foot run over. But, it could have been much worse, and sadly, contact between cars and people is often fatal.

  Traffic laws can be confusing for drivers and pedestrians alike.  I'm not even sure of the specifics of the laws.  I looked them up and it's still confusing.

You can read a 3 page document about pedestrian traffic laws in Utah here:

http://media.bonnint.net/slc/1090/109074/10907482.pdf

This is something I've been thinking about since last Halloween when a teenage pedestrian was killed a couple of blocks from my house. It was dark.  She crossed 2700 West in Taylorsville at a crosswalk created for the purpose of kids getting to the Junior High on the East side of the street.  It's the kind of crosswalk with painted stripes on the road.

http://fox13now.com/2015/11/01/police-id-14-year-old-girl-hit-killed-while-trick-or-treating-in-taylorsville/

http://fox13now.com/2015/11/02/death-of-teen-hit-killed-in-crosswalk-could-have-been-prevented-taylorsville-residents-say/

What happened?  Nobody knows for sure.  The teenagers crossed.  The driver didn't see them.  A girl lost her life. It's tragic.  These kinds of things happen all too often.

Our city has put up pedestrian crossing flags and flashing lights at the crosswalk now. And it seems like the street lights are working better than ever before.  I'm fairly certain there is a brand new light there.  I have driven on that road many times and been completely oblivious to the fact that there is a crosswalk there.  Because, if it isn't school starting or ending time, I'm not thinking about crosswalks in the middle of busy streets where there aren't traffic lights.  I see it as I drive past, but before the lights were added, I couldn't see that crosswalk until I was right on it.  My guess is that the driver of the minivan that hit these kids neither saw the crosswalk nor the teenagers in the road.  I don't know.

I'm thrilled that the city has made this crosswalk safer and pray that they look to making other dangerous crosswalks safer before they are pressured to do so by residents outrcries due to a fatality.

But, while I hope for safer crossing for every person moving by the power of their own feet, I responded to this tragedy in a way that came as if by instinct- I sat down and talked to my children about pedestrian safety.  I can't control how people drive, but I can teach my kids how to respond to how people drive.

The hard cold truth is that regardless of who has the right of way, it is not always safe to cross the street just because it's your right to do so.   I taught my children the rules that I live by and I'm sharing this here to encourage everyone who reads it to teach/remind your small loved ones how to be a safe pedestrian.

PEDESTRIAN SAFETY RULES
These rules apply in all crossing situations, regardless of right of way laws

1. When you want to cross the street, stop at the curb.
2. Look both ways.
3. If you see a car coming, stop.
4. Wait to see what the driver does.  If the driver stops for you, make eye contact and wave. Do not cross the road until you have made eye contact so that you are CERTAIN that the driver sees you.
5.  Proceed with crossing the street.
6. If the driver does not stop, wait until he/she passes.  Then start over with rules 1-5.
7. If you are crossing a multi-lane road, you must continue to follow these rules all the way across the road.  Just because one driver stops for you doesn't mean other drivers see you.  Make sure that they see you.  This is usually very obvious by the cars stopping.
8. If a car does not stop, you stop.
9. In review, when waiting to cross, wait for cars to stop.  Make eye contact and wave before crossing in front of them.

My teenage son leaned over my shoulder and read what I just wrote. He is afraid that my post might offend some people, especially students at his school who are still reeling from the death of their classmate.  I have no desire to cause any more pain or make judgments regarding blame. It was an accident, and I personally believe that everyone involved was trying to follow the laws.  My agenda is to do my small part to remind people that when crossing the street, we must never assume that a driver sees us.

There are distracted drivers.
There are rude drivers.
There are inexperienced drivers.
There are tired drivers.
There are human drivers.

If you have small people in your life, please take a few minutes to talk to them about safety in crossing the street, whether it is the neighborhood street or a large road.

 It just might save a life.

Happy New Year 2016( In Other Words This is a Late Christmas Newsletter Blog) PART TWO

I guess I maxed out what Blogger can handle. Wow!  Who knew.  Okay, so I'm going to finish up with a second blog to share for the rest of the family.

Clara- 10
Clara had a pretty awesome year.  She finally became nearsighted and got glasses. She's been hoping for that for a while.  She got to go on a trip to Southern Utah with her cousin Maddie and Grandpa Kevin.  She started taking tumbling and quit taking dance class.  Since October, she's been playing the clarinet with her school band.  Clara has a big personality and she is a fun kid to be around!

History Fair

Hiking with mom

at least it tasted good

she played softball

Who can forget Fat Zebra?

Clara loves reading now!

angelic with Grandma Dellory

Audrey -8

Audrey is a spunky little kid.  In 2015 she worked hard at school and played hard at home. She loves to flip all over the house and dance daily. She loves her dance class and gymnastics class and having fun with her family.  Getting baptized was her most special event this year.  

Audrey with her cousin Ariana

she's an interesting kid

Go Cougars!

She was so happy when I came to her class

We call her Cheetah Girl year round

Emmeline

In 2015 Emmeline got new glasses, again and again, due to breaking them 4 times.  She started Kindergarten and continued dance class.  Most importantly, she went everywhere possible with Mom.  She's a great little companion! 

welcoming Spring

learning how to spell

building a snowman with Thomas. He went back to California this summer and took the warm weather with him.

Queen in training

My midgie

Spring Dance Recital

at Grandma Kristie's house

2015 was a pretty great year.  We're hoping 2016 will collect even more beautiful memories!