Well, this may include some things before church and during the other meetings, but it all revolves around sacrament meeting. Sacrament meeting- that wonderful meeting every Sunday where we get to renew our baptismal covenants and, hopefully, feel the spirit, is my own personal refiner's fire. It's been this way for about 12 years now. People laugh at me, and I don't understand why, when I tell them that for every child you have just committed yourself to roughly 900 sacrament meetings. When you have your last child multiply the age of your oldest child by 50 and then add 900 and this will be about how many sacrament meetings you will have gone to with minor children before they all are adults. For us, that number is 1,500, as in 1,500 chances for our kids to do really embarrasing things. When I say really embarrasing, I mean REALLY embarrasing. I am not talking about the typical comments about body fluids. I'm talking about the time that Reuben, age 2 at the time, gave birth to his stuffed animal from the front pew, pulling it out from the correct part of his body, had he been a girl, and proclaiming loudly, "I birthed Ducky!" I had no idea I would be a proud grandparent at age 23. Or the time that Audrey threw up all over my clothes in the middle of the meeting and then again and again as I ran with her out of the chapel, down the hallway, and all the way home. But, I digress really. Those are not the typical things, but they add to the sacrament-meeting-stress-o-meter. You just never know what will happen. You go to church with the slightly unrighteous desire that someone else will have kids louder and more obnoxious than yours. Having the most kids in the ward doesn't really help with this hope.
Now onto today. I thought the meeting went pretty well. We had a few minor blips. Audrey sang "I Have a Family Here on Earth" at the top of her lungs during somebody's talk. Clara and Audrey tried to murder each other over possession of a puny shark puppet. Clara needed a drink. And she wanted to go sit with one of the men in the ward with whom she is obsessed. Emmeline spit her apple juice out all over Reuben's dry clean suit. Nothing too exciting. After the shark incident I decided Clara was ready for some corner time. I firmly escorted her out, nodding to all the amused friends who smiled and giggled as we walked by, and planted her in the corner in the Mother's room. The mother's room in our ward is a well kept secret, at least it seems that way since I have yet to encounter another mother using it to feed a baby. So, I felt safe in using it as a temporary restraint facility. Clara obediently stood in the corner. I reposed in the red padded rocking chair and closed my eyes while listening to the talks over the intercom. The talks were good, but the chair was soothing. And Clara was quiet. I admit it. I fell asleep. Even though I knew she had found a straight pin. I did tell her to put it down, but I knew she was threading it through her clothes. I just didn't really care enough to stop her because she was quiet and I was tired and enjoying the break from the other kids. Time passed and I heard my baby crying all the way in the chapel. I got up and asked Clara if she was done being bad. She said,"No, I'm not finished". I looked down and saw her creation, made using the straight pin. She had carved her name and a lovely design into the cabinets under the sink. So my 5 year old is a mother's room vandal and I am oblivious! I fetched the baby, brought her back and hurried to nurse her so I could spend the next two hours playing piano for the primary. Judd admitted to falling asleep but waking up as he was ALMOST dropping said baby. How can I be mad after what happened on my watch? That is the way it goes for us. Every week. I suppose I'll be bringing some polish and trying to cover up Clara's masterpiece next week. Gotta love it. Some people might ask, "Why do you keep coming?" We always have a baby and or toddler missing a nap. They are hungry and tired, restless and wired. And even though I joke about the things that happen, we keep coming because there is a point. We believe in the things being taught. We believe that we can partake of the sacrament and renew our baptismal convenants. We believe that Heavenly Father wants us to come and worship him. We believe in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and we want to be valiant. So we come, no matter how hard it is. Very little stops us from coming. The only thing that really stops us is highly contagious illness. And it's hard. And I keep counting down my mental paper chain. I'm down to about 868. 868 more chances to develop patience. 868 more times that my kids will probably make somebody laugh. 868 more times to be at church with at least one of my kids. I'm guessing that, before I get down to zero, I will start to count down with sadness. I'm guessing that when they are gone, I will look forward to having grandchildren visit and entertain me during Sacrament Meetings. Once you get past the embarrassment and fatigue, sacrament meeting with the Pitts can be kind of fun.
Your kids definitely make me laugh! Rueben birthing his ducky hahaha! This was awesome to read, not gonna lie. If it makes you feel any better, I didn't hear Audrey singing during the talks (although I wish I would have). I think you should leave Clara's name carving. You should encourage her to write 'was here' after it. Ya know, for posterity.
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