Super Pyscho Killer Power Yoga

I love yoga! Really. I love it!  It's flipping awesome! I especially love Adrienne Reed's Power Yoga.
I have 6 of her DVD's and I love them all, even if they are super pyscho killer power yoga torture sessions.

http://www.adriennereed.com/TvVideos.htm

To the pain, baby.  Adrienne says just to go until you feel sensation, but for me, that would usually mean sitting on the mat watching her. This stuff hurts.  Because, let's face it, not every "yogi" can twist her body into a shape that not even a pretzel would attempt.  But, the beautiful thing about her DVD's is that she always has some people on there who are normal, who cannot do the "full" pose.  Most recently for me, this was the pose where you start in a plank position, then bend your elbows, then lean forward and put your legs on your arms and lift them up and them straighten them out to the sides.
This one:


The modified version is to not straighten your legs, but to keep them resting on your arms, with your knees bent.  I tried to show my kids how to do it this morning.  Most of them just stared at me and couldn't get past the plank part.  When I SHOWED them the pose, Reuben said, "Mom, that is only for professional gymnasts".  I cannot extend my legs yet, BUT I WILL!  Even if Reuben says it is impossible.  I guess he thinks I'm an old lady.

 But, I digress.

The point is that I love it!  Unlike some videos, which will remain unnamed, Power Yoga is hard, but doable.  Even if I can't attain the full pose, I can do something.  I once watched a yoga video where this extremely flexible fellow guided us through a series of backbends, where we were supposed to be bent completely backward with our legs still fairly straight.  It hurts just thinking of it. And yes, all I did was stare at the video while this guy contorted himself ala Cirque de Soleil style.
Not unlike this:


Okay, truly, it was more like this:



Just kill me now, because I am not doing that!  Adrienne does do some terrible back bending business, but she also offers intermediate poses for those of us who want to be able to walk later in the day.

Then there are the yoga videos where you stretch just enough to get ready for a nice nap.  Up dog. Down Dog.  Baby pose.  Corpse.  Nighty night.

Adrienne Reed Yoga is just right for me. It gives me something really hard to reach for, while still giving me something really hard to do while I'm working towards those harder poses.

And she wears clothes.  These clothes actually cover her body, so we can focus on exercising instead of staring at her midriff or bosom.  I'm not embarrassed when my husband walks through the room.  Win. Win.

AND, and this is REALLY important,  Adrienne doesn't say super annoying things. She doesn't threaten to come through the t.v. and kill you, like a certain famous lady who likes to pull her pants down lower and step on her assistants to make their pushups harder.  Her name might rhyme with Billian Pichaels.  

Adrienne doesn't have a fake cheery voice either that makes YOU want to reach through the t.v. and kill HER.  It's really important to have a balance there where nobody is having a desire to kill anyone.  You know, so you can do the yoga breathing and everything.  I like her.  She's cool.  And so are her DVD's.

Decluttering

I've had the big D word on my mind lately. The important one- decluttering.  It started to simmer and brew when I had my jaw surgery and spent 2 1/2 weeks at my parent's house. It was so clean and peaceful there. Then I came home.

Assault on the senses! Woa! There was stuff everywhere!
And my husband took advantage of my incapacitated state to rearrange the family room. Sorry to my dear sweet eternal companion, but I HATE it when he does that.  And I couldn't undo it.   Just when I was feeling good enough, I had a second surgery.  And that one took me out for the count.  I had no choice but to sit around and let entropy take over, perhaps even at a slightly faster pace than nature intended.

What a mess!

So, I've been allowed to really clean, do laundry, and vacuum for a few weeks now and I have kept myself busy.  But, as I clean one thing, I notice another, and another,and another. . . woa Nelly! Slow down.  How did I let things get so out of hand?

The truth is that I am a natural slob.  Being neat and tidy does not happen for me unless I force myself.  Cleaning and organizing is generally NOT the reason I rise out of bed each morning. Yet, a near 3 month break from most cleaning has really given me the itch.  Then my husband got into his head that we need to adopt another child. I'm not exactly on board with this idea, but I have agreed to take the foster care classes, which might lead to a home study, which might kill me.  Do you know that you have to keep your medicines and cleaners locked up to pass a home study?  Okay, maybe you guys already do this, but I have a linen/medicine/cleaner closet. I have another cabinet with cleaners. They do not lock.   I keep extra cleaning supplies on a high shelf in the basement.  I'm a Mormon. We buy in bulk. We believe in having a one year supply. I'm really behind if you look at it that way.  It's only one shelf of extras.  So, how the heck am I supposed to lock all of these things up?  I don't have any locking cabinets. Anywhere.  In. My. House.  How about all the toxic items in my garage?  Paint.  Fertilizer. Weed killer.

Um, can I put them in the nonworking station wagon stored in my garage and lock that?

Why not?

So, I'm de-cluttering.

It started with the china cabinet. Who knew there was actually a picture on the wall above that?  Oh, and that's where I put the bird seed and pinecones.  And the desk calendar from 2007.

Then my bedroom.  Does anyone need 18 gallons of candy?  Hey- remember- a year supply. I do have 6 children.

Next I attacked the closet in the spare bedroom/computer room/sewing room/storage room. The one that might not be a "spare" bedroom anymore if my husband gets his wish.  I unearthed my missing puppets, 6 ponytails destined for Locks of Love, and the plastic gems I had wanted to glue on the prince  crown my mom and I made Judd for Halloween. Dang! 3 months too late.

My kids had a day off of school so we addressed the mess called the coat closet.  I had this strange desire to be able to close it, just so we could open the front door.  Everything was evicted! Then each child was allowed to put back one coat and one backpack, one pair of boots, and their scarves and mittens. Everytime I open that closet and I can actually see what is in there, I want to cry happy little tears! It's so beautiful!

The linen/medicine closet was next on my hit list. I promise, nothing was more than 7 years expired and I only had 42 pillowcases in there. My children tell me this is okay because 42 is the answer to everything.

I spent two hours cleaning out a "junk" drawer in my piano dresser.  It's really a lingerie dresser, I suppose, but who needs that much lingerie? It's just right to hold my music.

This made me feel brave, so I tackled the craft closet in the basement.  I might actually be able to use some of the sequins and beads that I bought in grab bags at Michael's about 11 years ago- now that I know where they are in my house. I doubt that I will ever want to use the Snuggie that I had hidden in there, but I am giving it another chance. We'll see. They should have called it Shocky.

Yesterday, feeling quite bold after all of my recent de-cluttering success, I entered the pit, I mean the basement, specifically the unfinished portion where we store things.  This was fairly scary because I could barely even gain entrance due to all the stuff I had shoved in there after decluttering the upstairs. But, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I filled up both big recycle cans outside of my house.  I found out that I have a 2 year supply of wetwipes, and a 3 year supply of chocolate milk powder.  I also have 8 Halloween tubs and 7 Christmas tubs.  Don't judge me. Judge my husband. He is the one who keeps buying more decorations.  But, at least they all fit in there now that I no longer have to hold onto clothing for every age and both genders.  We are down to only 7 rubbermaid totes of girl clothes being saved for Emmeline, Audrey, and Clara to grow.  Dang, this is making me tired just reading it.

De-cluttering is exhausting!  And I'm not finished.  I'm still determined to convince my blessed spouse that we do not need a year's supply of stuffed animals. There are 3 totes full of them in storage.  Please, somebody come and rob us and just take those. PLEASE!  And maybe, there is no point in keeping 300 cassette tapes from the 1980's. Wouldn't it feel good to just let go?  Don't even get me started on any of the other stuff that belongs to someone that is not named Becky.

But, the sad moral of the story is that I still do not have anywhere to lock up my cleaners, unless DCFS would consider the station wagon.  Maybe?  I have no more space.  I have nowhere to even put a locking cabinet.  NOWHERE!  Not yet, anyway. . . watch out clutter.  I'm coming for you! Mu ha ha ha.