Modern Torture- Midlife Braces

I think it will be fun to document my braces, especially since the first time I had braces I did everything in my power to avoid ever having my photo taken with any metal showing.  Those were dark years.  I hated my braces.  I hated my orthodontist. He was mean.  I hated my retainer. 
But, now my tune has changed.  A week ago I had 12 spacers put in.  It was ridiculously painful and took me 6 days to work myself up to eating scrambled eggs. Today, even though I could still barely chew at all, I got top and bottom braces put on today.  And I'm so grateful for them, despite the many metal parts digging into my tongue and cheeks.  I know I'll get used to those and find a way to deal with them.  I hope and pray that by the time I'm done in 18 months to 2 years, that my mouth will no longer hurt every moment like it has since July of 2010.  So, from this point on for this entry, I'm just going to post pictures after my visits, perhaps with a little commentary.  Here are the first ones.  I wasn't feeling so great right after the braces and somehow my nose looks especially huge, but SAY LAH VEE!

First Day of School- 2011-2012

It happened.  I willed it not to happen.  I declared a day of mourning.  I voiced my opinion about the ultimate wrongness, but still it happened.  With me  unwilling to take the leap to homeschooling, my children had to go back to school today.
 There are some nice things about having them gone.  Audrey has a completely different personality when she is the oldest kid home. She is calm and sweet and agreeable.  When the rest are here, she can be defiant and wild at times. Go figure! Anyway, that part is nice.  I'm also looking forward to some things I have planned, like a co-op preschool for Audrey ( if we can find enough people!), computer school for her, a sewing class for me, and of course the beauty of the fall and the wonderful holidays that come along for the ride.  And my mother in law keeping her mondays free for tending means I can volunteer in the schools for the first time! I'm so excited about that!

And there are stressful things about school starting.  HOMEWORK! and homework and homework and homework.  Soccer season is starting up again, so are voice lessons, and the children's choir.  We'll also have scouts for the boys, activity days for Amy, and dance for the 3 older girls.  Timothy is starting the violin and wants private lessons.  Reuben is continuing with the trumpet and should get private lessons.  Has anyone seen a money tree anywhere lately? :)  But, these stressful things will bless my children, increase their skills, and maginify their talents.  It's time to buckle down and work.  These look like kids who want to work, right?

We got all ready yesterday.  I succesfully convinced Clara not to wear a leopard skirt with a striped melon sweater.  I also convinced Reuben not to wear silky shorts the first day.  I packed a sack lunch for Clara, who declared that chicken sandwiches from school are gross, even though they don't know the menu today.  She is easy to make lunch for though, with her love of almost all fruits and veggies, she was thrilled to have peppers and cucumbers in her lunch bag.  We tucked the 5 oldest children into bed and finally settled down for a little rest around 9 p.m. when Judd started to yell,"Emmeline, Oh no!" I ran in the room, wondering what she could have done since I last saw her 10 seconds before, in time to witness her throwing up all over the carpet, and again, and again, and again.  Poor baby.  This is her first bout with the stomach flu, and she is miserable.  One of the most heartbreaking pleas is a sick baby begging for a drink  that has to be denied.  The only positive thing about her being sick is that it gave me the extra ammo to decide to cancel my dentist appt. to have a cavity filled.  My teeth still hurt so much from the 12 spacers I had put in on Thursday that I cannot even brush my teeth without pain.  I cannot chew anything at all.  So, I'm going to wait on getting that cavity filled until I can tolerate some pressure.  And I'm going to hold my sick baby and clean my house instead of going under the drill.
Anyway, I just can't believe that it's here.  I really dropped the ball on getting the kids ready for school this year.  I barely managed to buy new sneakers for the boys.  Amy had a new t-shirt. Her shoes was okay and Clara is wearing some pretty trashy looking shoes.  Hopefully, her sparkling personality will overwhelm people and they won't notice her year old tennis shoes.  I did buy my kids new clothes, but they were ordered online and haven't even shipped yet. At least everyone is starting the year with a backpack that works.  So, I might deserve a small loser award, but I'm not going to beat myself up.  I've had a hard year.  I had a busy week last week. I threw three parties at my house.  Two of them had more than 50 people in attendance. There is no law that says children must wear brand new clothes the first day of school. 
Here are some photos of this morning.  They were happy little children!

1 piece, 2 piece . . . .

Today we attended the Fire, Water, and Ice Festival at the Kearns Fitness Center.  We haven't taken the kids swimming yet this year since we don't have a pass anywhere and it's a lot of work with 3 little ones who can't swim yet. So they were all chomping at the bit for weeks to get to a pool.  Not only is it a lot of work, but to take my family to the pool would normally cost us about $30-$35.  And I'm cheap, so, that's a no.  This was $21 and that included wrist bands for the blow up bounce house thingies and crafts. 

The kids had a great time! Sorry, no photos.  I need to buy a new memory card.  Be glad though, because there are images seared in my mind that may never disappear.  The swimming pool is a dangerous place to take your eyeballs.  Where do I start?  WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING?  I mean, if you are fat, and you ought to know if you are fat, please COVER UP! At least wear a one piece! And if you are really skinny and have a perfect body, I still do not want to see your overly brown bosom squeezed into something the size of my baby's sock! I also didn't really need the chance to study so many tattoos.  Ew! I'm not a tattoo person to start with, but not only did I have to look at scantily clad women, I had to see a tattoo on one man's back of a woman in a bikini.  Who does that?  Why?
 I know that people have imperfections.  I try to shield people from experiencing the gag reflex by wearing swim shorts over my swimsuit, a suit that fully encloses the parts of me up top that identify me as female. 
And this is what really brings me to my point. A new type of swimsuit has emerged in the last few years.  I'm not sure when, but it was pretty dang popular today.  I don't think I saw any skinny people wearing it and so I fear that I might be correct in thinking that it FALSELY gives off the impression to the wearer that they look GOOD, when in fact the women wearing this style of suit did NOT look good! I think I might set a record for exclamation marks in this particular post.  Anyway, this suit, what dare I call it?  It's not a two piece, not technically.  And I guess if you were very strict you might define it as a one piece, but like a mullet, it changes personality depending on whether your view is from the front or back. From the back- bikini.  From the front- one piece with the sides missing.  From the side- UGLYORAMA TO THE EXTREME! The people wearing this suit were trying to cover up fat stomachs, but you could still see them. In fact, you could see them very well since the suit kind of gaped in the front and the belly was fully visible from the side.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?  This is ugly! This is super, nasty, mega, cover up your belly rolls UGLY! I do not want to see belly roll fat.  I can look at my own fat any time for free!
And please let me point out that this is not a rant against overweight people.  It is a rant against immodesty exercised by people who are not models.  Nobody who has ever had a child and has a normal body would look good in this style of swimming suit.  Many of the people wearing this style were young girls and teenagers who are overweight.  What happened to the one piece? Is it dead? Or even a tankini with a long top that doesn't ride up? Can we not put on something flattering and modest that allows us to go swimming without constantly adjusting to cover up our bare essentials, or, even worse, no adjusting and the resulting mental scarring of not only my mind, but my innocent boys' minds? 
And how about the little girl in the bikini with a butterfly on the back? Well, a mutilated butterfly.  The top half was on her top and the bottom half was on her, well, bottom.  Who cuts a butterfly in half so that a child can mimic adults and wear a bikini?  You might be able to tell by now that I am not a fan of bikinis. I think little girl's should be little girls in sweet one piece swimming suits and not have their bellies hanging out for all to see.  I think grown up women should behave the same way.  Put something on ladies! Pick something that you can wear down the slide and actually enjoy yourself instead of holding on to your suit! And get rid of the mullet suits- they don't suit anyone!

Pet Peevalisciousness

I haven't had a really good rant lately, so at the risk of alienating people who become offended by what I have to say, I think it's about time for some pet peeve purging.  Things that bother me, at least today:

1. School starting in August.  This is wrong.  It is wrong, wrong, wrong and should be stopped!
2. My teeth. 
3. Morning glory
4. The strange feeling I have that every 2nd or 3rd day is somehow magically Sunday again. 
5. the Bountiful Basket website not working.  I NEED my fruits and veggies!
6. Fruit that gets moldy before it gets ripe.  Another major WRONG in the world.
7. Money. 
8. Junior High.  All junior high schools should be burned to the ground.  They are wrong.  They are evil and a terrible cesspool of filthy nasty mean children who want to destroy my child's life. My child is not nasty and mean, nor are all of the children nasty and mean, just enough of them to be the poo that ruins the brownie.
9. The disease my children have that causes them to shirk work of all kinds and miss the laundry basket with stunning accuracy. 
10. People who read my blog, but don't leave a comment telling me how GREAT I AM! Okay, I'm just kidding about this one, but I do like comments.  Feed my ego people. please.
11. 80's music.  I HATE IT. I know, hate is a strong word, and this time I really mean it!  I can sense 80's music from a mile away.  I do not have to know anything about it to KNOW that it is 80's music.  It disturbs me on a molecular level.
12. food being eaten in a way that allows me to see and or hear it after it enters the mouth due to the mouth being open.  Gross.
13. library books that fall apart when I read them and the librarians who have no pity.
14. my kangaroo pouch
15. government waste. Most types of waste actually
16. housework
17. Sports.  Can I get a break from them please?  They NEVER STOP! Football, soccer, tennis, basketball, baseball, golf, underwater basket weaving.  I just do not understand the enjoyment people get out of watching a game, then watching the replays, then watching a show that talks about the game, then calling their family to talk about the game, then getting on the internet to read and chat about the game.  I know this is not a popular opinion.  I know I'm in the minority.  But, I would rather bathe in a vat of acid than watch an entire season of football or basketball.  It is soooo boring.  March Madness is named well, but I vote to change the Super Bowl to the Stupid Bowl, or the Great and Spacious Stadium.

Okay, that rant felt good, especially the last one.  My poor hubby especially doesn't understand that one. 
What are your pet peeves today?
18.