Braces Off!

Here is a picture of me from when I got my braces on in August of 2011.  I intended to do posts along the way, but well, I didn't .  Sorry.

So, today is the day.  I"m getting them off.  I'm experiencing a mixture of extreme excitement and nervousness.  I have not been a great flosser, and I'm pretty sure I've got some decay. Hopefully nothing too bad, but it's too late now.  I'll find out about that next week when I see the dentist.

Ready for the removal

There were moments when I thought today would never come.  It's been a hard journey.  Wearing braces isn't such a big deal, but daily pain for over a year is kind of stinky.  Major jaw surgery is rather uncomfortable. A process that has lasted over 3 years is a little bit tiring.

  I'm so glad it's done!  I know the retainer won't be my favorite thing to wear, but I'll be stuck like glue to my retainers. Actually, I will be stuck with glue to the bottom retainer.  And I'll wear the top one religiously. I don't EVER want my teeth to move again!

Right now I'm planning on a sparkly, rainbow, glow in the dark retainer.  I might change my mind when I see the options, but whatever I pick, it will be fantastically juvenile. Hey!  I'm a grown up. I can do that if I want to!

Well, I'm off!  The wait will be very short for you, since I'll just keep writing when I get back.  But for me. . . the nerves are killing me!

Two and a half hours later.

 Wow! Didn't that go fast for you?

After some gentle teasing about how I was not going to get my braces off today. . .the orthodontist said. "Take 'em off!'

Bands of Death

No more bands of death!  My hand looks really creepy in this photo. It does not look that creepy in real life.

wire clippers

No more sleeping with wire clippers by my nightstand!

Did you know it only takes a few minutes to take braces off?  Impressive.  It didn't hurt too much.  Okay, it did hurt, but I've had much worse. It was fleeting.  My teeth all appear to be intact.  My back two top molars do have some serious receded gums and extreme sensitivity- so maybe they are toast and maybe I need gum grafts/root canals/crowns.  I'm just not even going to think about that right now.  That will be a discussion with the dentist next week.

I got a permanent retainer glued on the bottom.  It feels creepy but I'm sure I'll get used to it, and I can always switch to a removable one if it bothers me.  Maybe after my teeth have settled down and I'm just sleeping in my retainer at night I will get a removable one for the bottom.  Anyway, it was someone torturous to have that retainer put in.  My mouth was help open with some plastic contraption and I was stuffed full of cotton for about 20 minutes while she glued and glued and glued.  The really bad part is how you cannot close your mouth and your tongue is getting pushed back so you feel like you are being gagged.  I only had one moment where I considered panicking and ripping the thing out, but I made it through.

After the retainer got glued in I had impressions made- 2 on top and one on bottom and one bite plate.  I had pina colada goo.  It was a pretty pleasant flavor.  The stuff sets up in about 45 seconds, so it isn't too awful to have your tongue pushed back choking you for that part.

So, here are the pictures you've been waiting for.


August 2011

September 2013

Obviously, the lighting is different. My teeth and skin are actually the same color, they just look different due to the light.   The differences are pretty subtle since I had braces for a bite issue and not due to having really crooked teeth.  My teeth fit together better now.  That is all that matters to me.

Happy Becky!

And I got presents too!

This water bottle contains all kinds of stuff I wasn't supposed to eat during the last two years, but when I felt good enough to eat it, let me tell you, I ate whatever I felt like, including all of the forbidden foods. The only thing I cannot eat anymore is really hard food like raw carrots.  I may never be able to eat them again, but I'm going to give it a try again in a few weeks. 

I get my retainer on Thursday. It will be rainbow sparkly.  We decided not to do glow in the dark because it messes up the sparkly. 

So, I'm done.  It happened. Tonight I will sleep without the bands holding my teeth in a tight clench, my companion for over a year.  

Time for a new family photo! 

Clara -Episode Baptism Day

Choosing names has always been very difficult for my husband and me.  So, 8 years ago, when we both liked the name Clara, we decided that would be our baby's name if she was a girl.  We didn't find out the gender ahead of time.  We were living in Holladay, Utah, in the very same ward that Judd's grandparents used to live in, and there is a picture in the primary room with a plaque honoring his Grandmother- Lucille Pitts. So, we thought it fitting, since we were having this baby in that ward, to use the middle name Lucille.  When she came out a girl, we named her Clara Lucille. We didn't know what the names meant before we selected them, but that's important to me, so I looked it up.  Clara Lucille means "Bright, Bringer of Light".  For anyone who knows Clara, you know that this meaning fits her perfectly. The beautiful combination of those two names is like a little whispering from God to me saying, "Here is a special child.  And I'm loaning her to you. Let her light shine!"

Clara can be a difficult child- impulsive, loud, active, wild.  I thought she was going to kill me between the ages of 2 and 4. My journal is full of entries about her coating her baby sister with various substances like toothpaste, pudding, desitin, or markers. She was just really hard.  I remember nearly having a nervous breakdown when the nursery leader's husband brought her to me 30 seconds after I dropped her off, telling me she had just bitten his wife and she was kicked out. And I marched her back down and stayed with her the whole time, because, it's just not okay to kick a kid out of nursery.  Then the next week that leader asked me to substitute in nursery. Well, she asked me by voice mail. I didn't return her call because I was at my limit with my little spit fire.  I never got a break from her. NEVER!  We couldn't afford a babysitter. She was too young for preschool. I had a baby when Clara was 23 months old and I was really tired.  My oldest child was 8, and I had 5 kids.  It was a hard time as a mother.  Really hard.

Clara did calm down, somewhat. But, nothing can quench her spirit. That kid practically glows.  She's hilarious.  She once made a dollar picking the neighbor's flowers and then going down the street selling them to those same neighbors.

She knows EVERYBODY on our street, young and old, and it's mostly people a lot older than her.  She invites 50 year old neighbors to her birthday party, makes them presents for their birthdays, and visits them constantly.

Clara marches to the beat of an unseen drummer.  Sometimes I think it's a very slow drummer.  She doesn't know what it means to hurry, at least not when she's getting ready for school.

But, if she sees a neighbor out for a walk, she blasts out the front door to hug them and visit. It doesn't matter who it is.  She's just always been that way.

She really is a bright little bringer of light.  It's who she is.

And today she will be baptized and officially become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

My half joke about Clara has always been that she will be a powerful force in this world, for good or evil, depending on which she chooses.  But, I'm only half joking.  I'm joking about the evil part.  I know she will choose good. She has too much light in her to do anything else.  She is amazing. If you know her, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's kind of hard to describe. You really need to spend time with her.  You need to see her in action.  Like yesterday at the park, she spent the better part of an hour visiting with some kid's Grandma.  Last year she sewed a little basket as a going away present for her bus driver.  When she got an American Girl doll for her 8th birthday she walked around in a daze for two days, proclaiming over and over, "I know I'm dreaming. This can't be real.  Am I dreaming?"

Clara is hilarious.  She is unique. She is loving and more than anything, she is intense in her bright love for others, bringing the Light of Christ into every interaction. There are no strangers to Clara because they always become her friend.  She loves everyone.

I feel so lucky to be her Mom and to get to share this special day with my Clara Lucille.

Would You Like Some Super Glue?

The other day I took my kids to Hollywood Connection to take advantage, yet again, of our Passes of All Passes.  Those things have been awesome!  Anyway, I didn't have my husband with me, so I had to stay with the 3 year old and had some time to sit around on my pockets while she played in the indoor play structure.  I didn't have a book with me, so I had the chance to observe the people around me.

I like watching people.

I know, that's kind of creepy.

So, I noticed that a TON of people were glued to their cell phones.  GLUED!

I actually took notes.

4 out of 6 parents on the Merry-Go-Round were playing on their phone instead of enjoying the ride or even paying attention to their small child.

Roughly 50% of the people who walked by had a phone in their hand.

75% of the parents in the playland were glued to their screen.  I was the 25%. I was glued to staring at them while they spoke to their kids without even looking up.

We could really save some muscles just by super gluing everybody's phone to his/her hand.  Even when they weren't using them, people had their phones in their hands.  Um, are we afraid of looking fat from phone bulge in our pockets?

I don't know.

What I do know is that I am sometimes guilty of this too, although not usually with my phone. My phone doesn't have internet or any games.

But, my Kindle Fire can be just as distracting.  It's easy to be stupid while using electronics.  The computer lures me away too.  Sometimes I wonder if my kids will remember all of my parenting happening from the computer chair.  I hope not.

Hey, I don't have a problem with a parent playing games or facebooking while the children climb on the slides, but doing it on the merry go round seemed a little extreme.

Maybe these devices are already superglued?

Maybe people feel naked without them?

Maybe we don't even need buildings to go to to entertain ourselves if we can be completely satisfied with a little magical black box.    We can just interact with other people who aren't really with us, and ignore the really short ones that live in our houses.

Hmm.  Maybe that is a bad plan.

It was scary, you guys.  I know how easy it would be for me to become one of those parents.  I've been known to have my nose in a book and not even hear what my daughter was asking me.

We need to run screaming away from these phones!  Put them down!  Put them in a purse, or in your pocket, or leave it in your car, and pay attention to the people that you are hanging out with.  Okay, I'm almost done with my lecture.

We already have people walking around looking like the Borg with Bluetooth ear attachments,  apparently talking to someone, but looking like a nutcase. Will we get our phone screens implanted on the backs of our hands next?  I'm sorry. It's just creepy.  It's a lot creepier than me watching the people with their eyes glued to their phones instead of watching the joy on the face of their little one.

Okay, I'm getting off this computer right now to go pay attention to my kids.

Math, my Precious!

I need to tell this story and you need to hear it!  Well, you need to hear it if you like math, and justice, and the consumer winning in the end.  I really tried to make this a facebook post, but there is just too much inside of me bursting to get out, so I had to blog.  I love this blog!

Okay, so if you like math, keep reading. This is going to involve addition, subtraction, percentages, and frustration.

I went to Joann's today to get some "needed" supplies for Amy's massive 3D art Reflections creation. I can't tell you what it is yet in case your child reads this and copies her idea and they end up competing against each other later.  Yes, I am psycho.  Amy ran out of white Sculpey clay and our craft paint was running low.

We had a coupon for 20% off our entire purchase, including sale items.  Sculpey was 50% off.  JACKPOT!  Alright, I'm a little bit obsessed with Sculpey, but it's FREAKING AWESOME.  Okay?  Okay.  Back to my story.

I picked up 6 blocks of 2 ounce Sculpey, regular price $2.29 on sale for $1.14.  I also grabbed a one pound brick of white, regular price $16.99, on sale for $8.49.  And I was going to get 20% extra off of these prices.  I know, it's so awesome!

Next we headed over to Clearance and found a down alternative comforter for Amy for $14.97.  We didn't need it, but she convinced me she would suffer hypothermia without it.

We grabbed 7 pieces of 34 cent felt for a special project and headed over to the paint.

The craft paint came in 2 oz. bottles for $.69 or 8 oz. bottles for $2.49.  Now, if you are still reading this, you like math, and you know that it was a better deal to buy the larger paint. What you didn't know is that our craft paint supply has dwindled into a pathetic stash of gloppy gloop. We needed to completely restock. So, I got red, yellow, blue, orange, green, gold, black, white, purple, pink, silver, and brown in the 8 oz size and a couple extra smaller shades of green.

I knew this would all be expensive, but remember the 20% extra off. So, it shouldn't have been at all like my typical $100 Walmart grocery trips. Yes, I shop at Walmart. Judge me when you are a stay at home Mom with 6 kids and a high mortgage.

I went the the checkout.  The bill went up and up and up, all the way up to $100! What?  "Oh, crud!" I thought, "I didn't mean to spend that much on craft supplies."  But, it went down to $80 with the coupon and then Amy paid for $7 worth with a gift card.  So, I got away with paying $74.

Something still didn't feel right.

I looked at my receipt and noticed that I got charged twice for the one pound Sculpey.  I told the cashier and she said she would fix it when she finished with the next customer.  While I waited, I noticed that the black and yellow paint containers both rang up at $4.99.  Woa Nelly! Somebody stop these runaway money horses!

I told the cashier and she took off the extra Sculpey and the black and yellow paint. The black price was correct because I had accidentally picked up glossy, so I just returned it. Apparently, it costs twice as much to be shiny.  The yellow paint was ringing up incorrectly since it wasn't glossy. She said she would fix it.  She told me a number, which seemed too low, but I was so dang confused at this point that I just said okay.  I sent Amy to grab some small black paint and I repurchased the yellow with the black, paid a few bucks and left.

We drove home.  My brain started turning.

FLIBBERTYGIBBIT!

I had been overcharged for the one pound brick of Sculpey.  It didn't ring up at 50% off!  And I didn't notice until I was on my way home. So, I came home and studied my receipt. That's when I noticed that, while the cashier took the black paint back, she didn't give me my money back for it.

GRRRR!

Okay, so the first time I got money back it was $18.80.

I went back to the store tonight and told the whole long confusing story.  Thankfully, with my 3,245 receipts, or maybe just 3 receipts, the lady believed me.  She credited me for the black paint and for the discount that should have come off of the Sculpey.  I was refunded an additional $11.52 and I came home victorious!

In total, I was overcharged $30.32, which is a heck of a lot of money for a $74.10 bill.

The morals of the story are:

1. Always,.always, always, check you receipts!

2. Don't be fooled by your children proclaiming that they won't use Math as grownups.  If they don't use it, it's going to cost them.

3. Be nice and be smart, and you can usually get what you deserve.

I'm glad I'm Not a Pioneer

Today was a good day, a crazy day, a tiring day, but a good day.

Today my niece Lucy was baptized.

Today my nephew Shawn had his 2nd birthday party.

We left our house at 8:30 this morning to drive to Brigham City for the baptism and enjoyed visiting with family afterwards while having refreshments.  The kids loved seeing my parents, my brother Jacob and his wife Carolyn, their Turley cousins, their Matthews cousins, and their Pachev cousins.

The fun was supposed to continue at the birthday party in Layton.  Right after we got there my sister Sarah Pachev called my cell phone and told me their car had broken down 6 miles out of Brighan city.  They have 10 people in their family, so my BIL Dave and my husband took our large cars and drove to the rescue.  An hour and a half later, they returned.

My Dad took my BIL Sasha Pachev and his daughter Jenny to the TRAX station for the long trip down to Orem, including a 4 mile run to his house, where he picked up his OTHER 15 passenger van to come and get his family.  I know, how many people own two 15 passenger vans and also ARE NOT polygamists?

We divided the rest of the family up between 3 cars.  Luckily, our boys had not come with us due to being at Trek and Scout camp, so we had room in our car. There was just enough room to fit all of the people and all of the swimming bags, church clothes, shoes, coolers, towels, etc..

My car added 2 kids, lots of stuff, and my mom's wheelchair. My parents took 4 children. My brother took two people and my mom's bags. The Turley's took Jacob's cooler. It was like car tetris! Everyone met at my house and untangled their belongings from each other's cars.  My sister and her kids came inside and we settled into making some dinner as quickly as possible since it was already 6:45 p.m.

I cooked some noodles, chopped some cucumbers and pulled out the arugula. Sarah washed the strawberries and washed a ton of dirty dishes for me too.  Dinner was yummy and we finally finished eating and cleaning up around 8 P.M.  Things MIGHT have been a little delayed by a chain reaction of children that accidentally knocked a can of spaghetti sauce on the floor.  It MIGHT have splattered.  Emmeline will tell you that "splatter" means "all over the place".  And, well, yes, it did go all over.  So, now a few things are cleaner than they were, including the floor, the door, the fridge, and Julia and Clara.

So, it was a favor, but not a huge deal to drive all the way back to pick up stranded family, shuffle stuff and people in cars, and cook dinner for another family.  That's was family does for each other.

But, it's made me think a little bit about the early pioneers ( probably since my oldest child just returned from a handcart trek) and how, when they heard that the handcart companies were stranded and starving, the Saints immediately set to work putting together a rescue effort.  It was a Sunday, in the middle of church.  The meeting ended and the work began . There were lives to save.

I'm glad I'm not a pioneer.  But, I'm also glad for their great example and for the things we learn at church that help us, in our modern callings to help our friends and family, to drop everything and go to the rescue. Nothing is more important than family.

The day was busy. It was crazy.  It was messy.  Things didn't go exactly as planned. It may have been somewhat stressful for a few people. But, it was also a chance to serve and bond.



In closing, I'd like to share what I shared from facebook the other day. It was written by a friend of a friend.

On particularly rough days when i'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%, and that's pretty good'. -James Bramble


Everyone survived. Enough said.  

30 Day Swimming Challenge

June 2013

If you are my friend on facebook, you're probably sick of reading about me taking my kids swimming. Sorry.
The great photos are all at the bottom.

When I was a little kid my mom put me in swimming lessons every year from the time I was 5.  I think I stayed in level one for about 5 years.

I was terrified.  They wouldn't let me wear goggles and the chlorine stung my sensitive eyes.

The instructors demanded that I open my eyes under water.

I hated them.

Eventually I learned how to swim well enough to have a good time.

Fast forward a lot of years. . .

Last September we bought everyone in our family a Pass of All Passes.   These are awesome! They have so many places we can go for free or very cheap that the passes are "paid for" very quickly. We've hardly used them due to my two surgeries and busy school schedule. We mostly bought them to enjoy Seven Peaks this summer.  We have visited Trafalga and Holllywood Connection.  This Saturday we are seeing the play Tarzan. All of that was free.

The next step is to go to Seven Peaks.  I plan to take my kids twice a week for the summer.
Just over a month ago I realized that we would get a lot more use out of the pass if we could go during the day without Daddy.  I also realized my six children would probably drown with only me to watch after them.

The boys could swim already. The girls needed swimming lessons, but there weren't any starting until June.  So, since I specialize in my own kind of crazy, I decided to teach them all myself.

I bought a 30 day pass to the Gene Fulmer indoor pool, about 7 minutes from my house. It cost $95 for my family of 8.  Swim lessons cost $35 for 8 lessons( 30 minutes long). I knew I could do better than that and for less money if I would just commit my own time and energy to my kids. I vowed to go every day but Sunday with as many kids as were available.

Today is the last day.  We will go swimming after lunch.

We have gone EVERY SINGLE Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday for about an hour.  I really think I deserve an actual 14KT gold star for this, cause, it was not easy.

But, it worked.

Do you know the feeling when you see your baby walk for the first time?

I've had that feeling almost every time we've gone to the pool. As I have witnessed my children gaining new skills and the pure joy they feel in accomplishing something that seemed impossible, I too feel that amazement and joy.  It's hard to adequately describe.

Reuben (14) and Tim (12)could already swim, but had never passed the scout swim test for camp. Now, they are ready.

Amy (10) couldn't swim at all.  She swims. She floats. She jumps in the deep end. She is working on different strokes.

Clara (7) also couldn't swim.  Her crowning achievement last week was jumping into the deep end and swimming across and back.  She swims and floats and is working on the back stroke.

Audrey(5) did the death grip whenever I brought her into water deeper than her shoulders.  Now, she loves to swim underwater and float on her back or tummy.

Emmeline(3). She is the most delightful.  Every single day Emmeline pushes herself a little but more.  She loves to jump into the pool and float to the top. She screams at me to put my arms down so I'm not trying to catch her.  She jumps off of the steps and swims underwater to me, probably 4 feet.  She loves to "go under"! She can float on her back by herself.  The best moment was when someone asked me if she had been taking swimming lessons for a long time.

It has been worth it. The 30 extra loads of laundry has been worth it. The extra time has been worth it. The extra gas was worth it.  Taking two showers every day was worth it.  Scrounging for dinner or eating it quickly was worth it.  Being exhausted and wet every day was worth it.

I'm going to miss it.

Clara broke two pair of goggles in three days.

Amy was thrilled to be able to see under water

Once Audrey figured out she wasn't going to die, she swam like a fishy.

I had to wear my glasses in the pool so I could see my kids.  I'm pretty blind without them and I can't tolerate contacts. 

Emmeline, floating on her back all by herself

Big girl!

She gets her cheeks from me

You know it's love when you put on a swimsuit M-Sat for a month.

floating

Reuben

Tim diving

Reuben jumping in the deep end

Audrey. Sorry about it being sideways

"I'm a big girl. I can jump in by myself!"

See?  

In the Quiet Heart. . .

I've had some thoughts bouncing around in my head for about a week.  They are thoughts about suffering.
I can look back on my childhood and recognize that I rarely suffered.  I had adequate food, clothing, and shelter.  I had fairly good health.  I experienced childhood and teenage maladies like the cruel peers, pressure to achieve, stomach flu, chicken pox, a broken bone, migraines, and debilitating menstrual cramps.  But, most of the time I was healthy and happy. I know I was pretty lucky. But, I still experienced trials and sorrows.

 And they were real to me.

They were just as real to me and hurt just as much as the more grownup and lasting trials I have been blessed with as an adult.  Some of my suffering I made public knowledge, like when my dad MADE me move to Russia. That was not cool!  How dare he?!  I let everyone know what an awful thing he was doing to me.  Some suffering and heartache I kept inside, but of course it affected who I became. The ones that were kept inside probably affected me the most, because they festered and grew.  They were things that I can now view as silly or irrational.  I thought I was fat.  I thought I was ugly.  Typical teenage stuff.

But, it was real to me.  And I've been thinking lately about a type of statement people sometimes make. This statement is hurtful, although it might not be meant that way. It comes in many variations, but it has the same point:

You are not suffering as much as I have suffered/suffer now.

You think that's bad?  I know somebody who. . . .

Well, at least you don't have to deal with. . . like I do.

My friend is really suffering, going through. . . . you are lucky that isn't you.

You're too young to know real suffering.

Just wait until you are older. Then you will really have problems.

"In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see.  Who am I to judge another, when I walk imperfectly. .  " Savior May I Learn to Love Thee- LDS Hymn

My grown up trials, over time, have settled that thought in my heart.  Who am I to judge?  Who am I to look at you and judge your behavior or the level of your pain, when I can't see into your heart, into your head, or into your past?  What quiet sorrows reside in your heart?  Who am I to belittle the suffering of another person?

Who am I to judge another?  Yet, sometimes I do it, in my heart, and sometimes even out loud.  Cause, dang it all, I haven't figured out perfection yet!  I'm weak.  But, I'm learning, at least, about this one thing.  My own trials have opened my eyes.  I used to look at people and think things like,"Oh, they have it so good. Look at that new car, that huge house! Her body is perfect. She can't possibly have any worries.  I've got so many more kids and mine don't behave as well as her kids. My life is harder."  Or before I had kids, "My kids will never have snot running down their faces or eat food off the floor."

It's so easy to judge what you don't understand.

And then something broke inside of me.  As I became lucky enough to have my own sorrows that the eye can't see, I realized that just about EVERYONE has them.  Is my life harder than some people's?  Probably.  Is my life easier than a lot of people?  Definitely.  Does it matter?  Is it a competition?  Does it mean God loves me more or less?  No.

I guess what I have learned is it feels a lot better to say things like:

Wow. That must be hard.

I've gone through some hard things too.  I know it's difficult.  But, I believe you can get through.

I've gone through something like that. Do you want to talk about it?

OR

I've never gone through that.  I can't imagine how hard it is.

*****
Maybe I'm off my rocker.  I don't know.  It's a distinct possibility.  And maybe I'm on to something. Maybe the world would be a better place if we would delete all sentences beginning with" You think you have it bad. . . "  and replace them with love, sympathy, empathy, compassion, tolerance, patience.  Come on people, let's just be perfect.  You go first.  :)  Oh, wait, we aren't perfect! Rats! Then I guess it would be good enough to just remember, "Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly?. . " and just delete the judging.

Get REAL!

I CANNOT hold it in, or I might burst something I wanted to keep intact, like my sweet spirit!  I have to let it out in a blog.

If you are a sports fan, you should probably stop reading now, because what I write might make you question everything you hold dear.  Or at the very least, it will really irritate you.

Last night I went to a REAL Salt Lake soccer game with my husband. He didn't make me do it, but I knew he wanted me to go with him.

He did go to yoga with me on Tuesday night.  And for reasons which I will never be able to process, he did not enjoy yoga.  I know, SHOCKING!  How can you not enjoy yoga?  I really and truly do not know.  Really. And Truly.  It's defies belief.  But, there it is.

So, I decided I would try to put aside my loathing of sporting events not featuring my offspring, or at least someone I know, and agreed to attend the game with him.

We arrived at the freeway exit at 6:37 for a 7:00 game.  I thought that was plenty of time.  Uh. No.  It took 6 minutes to exit the freeway.  It took another 5-7 minutes to find a place to park for free.

I couldn't see the stadium from where we parked.


It took about 10 minutes to speed walk to the stadium.  That was probably the best part of the night.
As we walked Judd "warned" me that the person who gave us the tickets, the Regional Commissioner for AYSO, the soccer league my kids play with, wanted to give me a present- a REAL present. He wanted to know if I would prefer a bobble-head or a scarf.  Oh goody!  By the time we got there, I had figured out a plan to turn a scarf into a bed pillow for my REAL loving brother in law.

We stood in line for another 10-15 minutes.  The fans in front of us were very friendly and entertaining and I enjoyed talking with them. After having our bodies scanned, stripped searched, and sprayed with disinfectant, they let us in.  Or maybe they just scanned people's purses. Anyway, there was security.  And thank goodness! I wouldn't want all those drunk people bringing their knives and guns.

We went inside and wandered aimlessly until Judd decided to ask directions, at which point we were directed to walk to the other side of the stadium. Unfortunately, math must not be the strong point of the man who helped us, as we ended up walking around about 75% of the way until we found our section.

We had good seats and were sitting next to a quiet family.  Good. Very good.

By the time we sat down, about 15 minutes into the game, the other team had scored two goals.

And that pretty much sums up the game.  There were no more goals. For the rest of the game.

Wow.

Fun.

I can really see why you guys love this stuff.

(Insert sarcasm)

It was kind of fun to watch the athletes kick the ball around and try to score.  And I quite enjoyed it when a player would fall dramatically to the ground, rolling around in supposed pain, only to pop up and keep playing 2 minutes later.

Seriously though, the soccer players were good, and I don't really have any problems with how the game went.

It's just that. . .

I am not a fan.  I do not care if REAL wins.  There, I said it.  Cast your digital stones at me now.  I just do not care.  I don't care AT ALL!  I don't care if they are the team in my city.  Big deal.

So, when people stood up to watch something, I didn't.  It felt kind of nice.  I don't like feeling anxious and worrying about the outcome.  

I just watched the crowd.

I watched the 40 or so fans for the other team, with their bare brown painted chests swaying to the beat of their constant song, hanging over the railing 4 stories high, waving scarves, huge flags, their mother's tablecloths, and probably their underwear. Alright, I'm just kidding about the last two items.  They had drums going and feet stomping and hands clapping, and loud singing for the entire game. 2 hours straight.. They had spirit. Good for them. Really.  I'm glad they can enjoy this so much, even if it did mean that I had to do some yoga breathing to feel calm.

I watched the security everywhere, watching us.

I watched a lot of people carry big plastic glasses of beer.  I watched one person at the beginning of the game, already drunk, cause her friend to spill his beer.

I watched the vendors carrying cotton candy and popcorn on a pole, up and down, up and down, up and down.  I watched people pay $6 to buy them.  $6!  Now, that is something I can feel outrage about! That is a rip off!

But even worse was people paying $6 for an inferior, half melted slushy.  Crazy fans!

At least water was free.  And I had a nice long drink after waiting behind all the people filling up their water bottles at the water fountain under the sign, "Please be courteous. Do not use the drinking fountain to refill water bottles."


I watched a photographer with dreadlocks that stuck out all over his head, 6 inches straight up, like a living Sonic the Hedgehog.  And I wondered how he could be comfortable walking around with his bum crack showing and his pants 6 inches too low.

I did some more yoga breathing when they forced the fans to pass a big parachute like banner thingy bopper over their heads.  It must have covered 100 feet of people at a time.  I didn't like that.  Can that really be legal?

I watched all of the fans wearing their incredibly ugly Real apparel.  The colors are UGLY.  Maroon. Royal Blue and Gold. It's hideous. And the scarves.  ..  vomit! They look like something out of Harry Potter and they should stay in the realm of fiction too.  I would not be caught dead wearing something so grotesque!


I observed a lot of interesting hair- mohawks sprayed red, gold, and blue, Real shaved into people's hair, yarn hair, no hair, gold mohawks. . .

I listened to the obnoxious squeaking of a toddler's shoes as she came and went, came and went.  Her Grandma thought it was so cute!  I know she did because she said something every time   If those shoes lived at my house, they would be in Becky's operating room -YESTERDAY.

I watched and listened as the fans collectively stood and yelled, "Ref, you suck!" over and over again.  I do not even allow the word "suck" to be used as an insult in my home.  I cannot comprehend the behavior of these people.

I watched one man two row ahead stand up and flip the birdie to the ref whenever he didn't like a call.

I watched his wife laugh.  I watched his teenage daughter learn from him.

I watched the guy in front of me alternate between taking photos with his expensive camera and his phone.  What do people DO with these pictures?

I watched and I saw that people enjoyed the atmosphere.  There were families there with young children.  They were dressed in matching clothes.  This was fun for them.

I don't get it.

The end of the game looming, we got up and left 10 minuets early to avoid the crowd. This was Judd's idea.  We didn't have to leave early. We were probably in our seats for an hour and a half, including a 14 minute half time break.

 Judd walked away from the stadium at crazy man speed.  On the way out he said," Thanks for coming. That was fun!"

Trying to remain polite, I said nothing, but smiled weakly.

Dissatisfied with my response, he repeated himself.

So, I just said, "What do you find fun about that?"

I did listen at the time, but I can't remember what he said. I think it was something about watching the players.  Somehow he was able to ignore all of the great and spacious building behavior and focus on the game.  Okay, that's cool, for people who like that sort of thing.

Now, in order to even things out, I shall list the positive things about attending the game:

1. The tickets were free.  I don't really understand why somebody would pay for this experience.

2. As a halftime game, somebody scored a goal and now we can redeem our tickets stubs for free haircuts at Great Clips.

3. Um, I think 2 was pretty good.

So, in conclusion, I would like to say that was a strange experience, and I think enough to last me for quite some time.  I just don't understand these fans.  I think we have a different definition of get real.

Parking Strip Update- Two Years Later

Two years ago, in April of 2011, I dug up my parking strip.  I planted some perrenials.  I filled in with some annuals. It was really beautiful the first year.  And when the bulbs came up last Spring, I was in Heaven!
So, it's now been two years and my bulbs have had a chance to multiply. The perrenials have spread.  So, I thought I'd take a picture of the garden in Spring and share it on my blog.

If you plant it, it will usually grow!

No Soliciting

7 months ago, while recovering from my totally awesome jaw surgery, my parents got me a bunch of artsy crafty things to do at their house.  They were fantastic things to do that felt productive and helped me pass the time of being extremely agitated and uncomfortable.

One of those projects was a "No Soliciting". My mouth didn't work, but I could text, so I texted a friend who cuts vinyl and asked her to cut out the words.  I got a board and painted it black.  It took her a while to cut the vinyl, and I wasn't nagging her. Then, when she gave it to me, I promptly misplaced it. It turns out it was in a file folder.  Um. Okay.  I'm sure that was a good idea for some reason.

I went and located the board, which I happened to know was lodged behind my dresser.  Why?  Well.  It fell back there, and I left it there.  Why?  I'm a pig, okay?

So, my daugther noticed this sign, which I am working on getting ready to affix to the outside of my house.

"What is soliciting?", she asked.

"It's when people come to your house and try to sell you stuff."  I answered.

Judd piped up,"It's too bad that we can't keep a big bag of flour by the front door and just grab a handful and, poof!, throw it in the face of every solicitor!"

Gee, that really is too bad. That would be fun.

Anyway, it got me thinking.  And what I'm thinking is that this thought is fodder for a great internet brainstorming session... .

But, I need you to participate.

What would you like to do to solicitors?  What's the worst thing you have actually said or done to a solictor?

Come on, spill.

I'll start.

1. What I'd really like to do:  Oh. the possibilities are endless.  My daughter is in Saturday's Warrior right now. At one point the missionaries in the play are trying to find people to teach. They approach someone and say they have a wonderful news for her. She replies, "No! I've got great news for you! Did you know you can save 15% on your car insurance by switching to Geico?!"

So, I think it would be really fun to turn it around to every solicitor.  I could say, " I don't have any need for what you are selling, but have I got a deal for YOU!  How would you like to buy some of these neat little drawings my daughter produces?  Or, maybe you need a broken oven?  I've got one right here in my garage.  What?  You say you can't afford it. Don't worry.  We offer free financing. 90 days same as cash. What's that?  I can't hear you. Where are you going?  Oh, well., maybe the next solicitor will want to buy something."

2. What is the worst thing I've actually done.  I think the worst behavior I've ever had with a solicitor was when the cleaning product people came around, for the 6th time in  years.  I told my husband to go deal with them.  He let them bully him into calling me to the door. I said no, but he insisted.  I was equally angry with him as I was with the solicitor.  I came to the top of the stairs and just let loose yelling.

"I know your product is fabulous!  And I don't care!!!  I'm not buying it!  I don't want it!  I make my own cleaners and I could eat them if I wanted to!  I don't care how good it is or what you have to say! No! You are wasting my time and I am wasting your time! "

I can't remember what else I yelled in my tirade, but after some feeble attempts at a response, the guy closed the door as he ran away!  Woo hoo!

Okay, normally, I would feel guilty. But, those people are so aggressive, and I'm so tired of them wasting my time and trying to make me feel bad. I can't get my new sign up fast enough!

Now, it's your turn.
1. What would you like to do to solicitors?
2. What's the worst thing you actually have done/said to a solicitor?

Go!