I try to be optimistic, but sometimes so many challenges come so close together, or an especially difficult trial surfaces, and I stumble a little. Everything was great two Sundays ago. We sang in church, Amy and Clara sang in Primary. I subbed for Tim's primary class and Judd subbed for a teenage class. Then we went and made a fabulous Irish dinner for my parents. Then a few days later, a couple of my kids got sick and it was just the final straw for me. After me just having pink eye( again), and thrush in my mouth, I just felt really picked on.
So, I complained on facebook about 8 days ago.That always makes me feel better. I like to add a little humor with my complaining. I posted the following, "Never tell yourself that you can't take any more, because that seems to be a magnet for "more" to happen. And always try to remember that curling up in a ball and crying just gives you a headache."
I was pretty disheartened, but trying to plug on. But, the truth was that I was exhausted.
And then I got a cold.
Two days after my sad post, I got TWO packages in the mail. No bills or annoying ads, just two packages addressed to me! I knew one was coming from my aunt Maureen and opened it with eager anticipation. It was a Texas shaped sandwich cutter! If you know me well, you know that I am from Texas and that I adore Texas. I love the cutter! It is so cool and my kids have already used it twice. It just brightened my day so much. And I wasn't even done opening packages. I've never gotten two packages for me in one day. I hardly ever get things in the mail from friends or family. Why would I? But, a caring Heavenly Father inspired two people to act and send me tangible evidence of not only their love, but His love. It was just what I needed.
After the delight of my first package, I opened the package from my good friend April. It was a box of Sunshine! Everything inside was yellow- lemonade koolaid, pez, lemon heads candy, lemon gummy candy, baskets, a duck toy, body wash, a sun magnet, a photo card. . . that box was full of so many yellow things it was amazing! I just broke down sobbing on the blanket in the front yard where I was having a picnic lunch with the little girls. And I cried and cried happy tears.
I didn't wake up that morning wishing for packages, but I was feeling alone and overwhelmed,even surrounded by little children and their various germs. My mother lives in town, but couldn't help me. Instead she sits prisoner in her own house, recovering from knee surgery, in need of my help that I couldn't give.
The next day I crashed, physically, but not emotionally. The cold was getting the better of my body. But, I had my mailed sunshine and love to remind me that our spirits are stronger than our bodies. I trudged on. I tried to take it easy and cleaned out the filing cabinets- a nice sedentary job, and found a card Judd gave me for my birthday years ago. It depicts a cheerful mouse, prancing across a bridge with his belongings bundled in a cloth hanging on a stick perched on his shoulder, and his face basking in the sunlight. And the card says" Keep your face to the sunshine shine and you cannot see the shadow"- Helen Keller. If a girl who was blind and deaf could have that attitude, so can I. How can I not keep my face to the sunshine when it came in the mail? I'm so lucky to have friends and family who love me.
Like I said at the start, I usually manage to stay positive. I have so many blessings and so many body parts that work marvelously well. I have six healthy intelligent children and a husband who provides for us. I have my faith.
But, even those of us who appear to be strong have our moments and have need, at times, from those who love us to help us turn back to the light when the shadows threaten our peace.
