How to Clean the Family Room

I am tempted to say there is something wrong with my children. But, I know it isn't true.

It's genetics.

I'm not sure exactly who or what to blame for all of our children inheriting messy genes, but the proof is in the pudding.  Judd and I are naturally messy.  He won't admit it, and I'm not going to elaborate in any way that would get me in trouble, other than to say he's messy.  And I'm messy too.  I've never enjoyed cleaning.


Allow me to clarify.

I enjoy clean.

I wish someone else would do it for me.

Now, my children have all inherited the same disease.  I imagine they have thoughts along these lines:

Why should I put my shoes away when I can just leave them on the floor in whatever random spot I decided to remove them? Then I have created a game for myself of hide and go seek when I need to find them.

And socks?  Well, they should probably get shoved in the couch cushions, or some other dark place where Mom won't find them until they have grown enough mold so that she can no longer identify their owner.

Popsicle sticks, candy wrappers, tissues, food particles. . . all of these clearly belong on the floor.  Right?
I think I remember learning something in school about taking the path of least resistance.

And toys, oh glorious toys. They hold my attention for at least 5 minutes, so I make sure to spread the parts all over the family room, and maybe also throw a few pieces downstairs, in the next room, behind the toilet, and of course shove a few in the couch cushions. It's just so convenient.

I know DVD's have cases, but it makes more sense to leave them out so that I can look at them.  And I can see them the best on the floor.

Stuffed animals get lonely and they can't breathe in the toy box.  They also need to be on the floor where I can see them and talk to them, you know, make sure they aren't lonely.

There's no point putting a game away if we might play it again in a month or two.

And even though Mom says to  put the cushions and pillows on the couch, well, I know better.  Mom is so silly.  Pillows are for building forts.  So are blankets, towels, sheets, tablecloths, brooms, chairs, ironing boards. Really, I will work with any material that I can find in the house.  I am sure Mom doesn't need it.

END CHILD THOUGHTS

Yep.  I think that about covers what they are thinking.  As I sit in this disgusting room, I am trying to muster the energy to gather them all together and make them clean up all of this toy/garbarge/movies/pillows/blankets MADNESS!  And I realize that I have a fantastic chart for cleaning your room, but I don't have one for the family room.  The need for such a chart is staring me in the face and squished under my feet as I type these very words.

So, here it is. I present to you. . .  How to clean the family room, a simple step by step guide for short people and even tall people that get claimed on my taxes.

1. As foreign as this idea seems, the floor of a common room, such as a family room, is meant to be bare of belongings.  Acceptable items are rugs and furniture. Everything else must go.  Please take a moment to mentally realign your thinking with this new concept.

2. Make the couches look like couches again, complete with cushions and pillows, and devoid of any and all belongings or garbage hiding in, on, or under the cushions.

3. Bookshelves.  These are so cool. They are for holding books.  I know, that's weird, isn't it?  Well, anyway, gather up the books on the floor and stand them upright on one of the 5 bookshelves in this room.

4. Now, let's move on. DVD's. They are round and shiny. They are pretty.  They belong in their special cases with little plastic sleeves.  This makes it so easy to find a movie when you want to watch them.  It makes the DVD's feel so nice and secure. Please put all of the stray DVD's in cases.

5. Don't be discouraged, but we need to talk about garbarge. Mom has placed these really cool plastic cans in the room. One is a garbage can. The other is a recycle can.  Put the garbage in the garbage can. This means things that cannot be recycled, like food that you weren't supposed to eat in here. It's also a good place for used tissues, carpet coated candy, and the lint from the vacuum.   Just about anything that is cardboard, plastic, or paper can be put in the recycle can.

6. Now, this next topic is embarrassing, but it must be addressed.  Clothes.  I know. This is silly, right? Who would take their clothes off in the family room?  Um.  We won't point fingers.  Just get them to the proper dirty clothes basket and we'll pretend it never happened.  This includes socks.

http://boogersonthewall.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/laundry-pile.jpg

7.  We're almost done. You can do this! You get to talk to the stuffed animals now. Give them some love while you pick them up and put them to bed in their nice spacious stuff animal condo, A.K.A. Great Big Rubbermaid Tote. They really will thank you.

http://www.aliexpress.com/popular/goat-stuffed-animal-toy.html

8. Dress up.  If you dressed up, you can dress down.  Even dress up clothes need a nap. They really prefer to be in the dress up boxes.  It's nice in there.


9. Quick! Gather up all the dishes that you used for your secret snacks and get them downstairs in the sink

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http://www.staceyreid.com/news/?p=8751

10. And finally, let's talk about toys and games.  Ugh.  I know. This is kind of overwhelming. There are a lot of them.  But, never fear. They all have a container. The pony container has a pretty pony drawn on the side. The duplo container says "Duplo".  The potato head container says, well, you get the picture. You can clean these up any way you like.  Honestly, you never should have let it get this bad. You never should have taken out a new tub of toys without cleaning up the first one. But, since you did, I'm going to help you out.  Shove all of the toys in a big pile. Gather all of the bins and game boxes that are empty.  Now pick something up and put it in the right bin or box.  If there are 100 things on the floor, do this 100 times. If there are 500, do it 500 times.

http://abingtonfreelibrary.org/events/185

Now, whatever is left over either belongs in someone's room, or another room in the house, or it is junk. Put it away or throw it out. Vacuum.

Relax.

You did it.

Way to go short people and dependents!

People who Drink Chocolate Milk are Fat. . . OR ARE THEY?

One of my kids' favorite activities in the summertime is the free lunch program run by the school districts.  We live in Granite School District, but we prefer Jordan School District lunches. It's like the difference between gross and pretty yummy.  Anyway, we go to a school very close to our house for free lunch and we have been going there for several years.  I call it "Reclaiming my taxes."

We often seen daycare providers using this program to feed the children in their charge.  There is a particular woman who comes frequently and  brings about 6 or 7 young children with her. There have been quite a few times when my family sat next to her group. And, several times over the years, this lady makes some comments that make me want to share my opinion with her.  But, I haven't done it yet, because I don't want her to beat me up, swear at me, or cause an ugly scene at the nice free lunch school.

I bet you want to know what she talks about. Well, I think my title might have given you a clue.  Here's how it goes down. . . . .
My children sit down with their lunch trays.  4 of my 6 children usually choose chocolate milk.  Her charges see the chocolate milk and one of them says,"I want chocolate milk."  The lady, we'll call her DL, for Daycare Lady, not for Devil Lady, says,"Chocolate milk is bad for you!  It's full of sugar. It will make you fat!"
The child looks up at her with trust and wonder and replies,"So, chocolate milk is bad?"
DL,"Yes."
Child,"It will make me fat."
DL" Yes, people who drink chocolate milk are fat!"

Okay, it is at that point that I kind of want to reach over and SLAP her!  I mean, seriously, it's one thing to tell the kids that white milk is a healthier choice. That is true.  It's even true that the chocolate milk has more sugar. More on that later.  But to take it one step further and basically call my children fat is just plain rude.  We were sitting really close to each other, and she knew I could hear her. There was only one small child between me and her.  And, honestly, this is at least the third time she has said this about chocolate milk when my kids sit down with chocolate milk.  She isn't talking to my kids. She isn't talking to me. She's just calling my kids fat. And calling me fat too for that matter.  Cause, you know what?  I drink chocolate milk too!  And I LOVE IT!


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7801188/Chocolate-milk-can-help-athletes-recover.html

Devil Lady, I mean, Daycare Lady, is a liar.  Or maybe she is just lacking in crucial knowledge and skills of tactfulness.  Even if it is true that chocolate milk makes you fat, she shouldn't have been saying that in front of my kids who were drinking chocolate milk.

So, let's talk facts.  I love cold, hard, non-disputable facts.  OK.

FACT( You have to say this in your head like the KidHistory guy. If you haven't watched KidHistory, you need to watch KidHistory. It is very funny and very clean and good for your soul. So, Google FACT KidHistory, and watch it. .  right now.)

Ok, I got a little distracted there.

FACT:
One container of TruMoo plain milk served at Heartland Elementary for the free lunch has 100 calories and 12 grams of sugar.  This is an 8 oz. serving.  EVERY single 8 oz. serving of cow's milk in the world has 12 grams of sugar.  Why? There is naturally occurring sugar in milk. It's called Lactose. Quite a few people have tolerance issues with lactose.  Anyway, it's in there. 12 grams.  Every time.


FACT:
One container of TruMoo chocolate milk served at Heartland Elementary for the free lunch has 120 calories and 18 grams of sugar.  12 of those grams of sugar come from the naturally occurring lactose.  6 of them are added in the form of another sugar.  It grows on a cane. Technically, to me anyway, that is a vegetable.  One gram of sugar has 4 calories.  Those extra 6 grams should make the calorie total 124.  This is a little confusing, but that's what the box says. I know the chocolate milk is fat free.  In the 1% variety, which is not offered at the school, the white milk as 110 calories and the chocolate milk has 140. They both have 8 grams of protein, 2.5 grams of fat, and the same sugar content as the fat free milk.


Let's talk about 6 grams of sugar.  I'm not saying it's nothing.  It is 24 calories.  That is the same as 1/4th of a banana, or 1/4th of a bag of fruit snacks. Ok. I'm just going to tell the complete and total truth.  6 grams of sugar is 1.5 teaspoons. Or 1.5 starbursts.  Or 1.5 Tbsp. of ketchup.

A 12 ounce soda has around 45 grams of sugar.

Don't even get me started on yogurt. Okay, get me started on yogurt. One 8 oz. strawberry yoplait yogurt has 170 calories and 26 grams of sugar.

And let's not forget that milk has 12 grams of sugar from the get go.  I guess that might just make some people fat too.  Did I mention that DL was, well, not skinny. She was very much not skinny.  Do you think maybe she is drinking chocolate milk after the little kids go home? Is that how she knows chocolate milk is full of sugar and makes people fat?

I promise I am almost done ranting.  It's just that, well, I know chocolate milk isn't exactly health food. And, I know that calories add up over time.  And I know that it takes 3,500 calories to gain a pound, so just by choosing chocolate milk and not cutting back in another area, theoretically my children could gain a pound after drinking 175 cartons of chocolate milk instead of white milk.  We go to the free lunch about 3 times a week over the 10 week summer, so they would gain a pound in about 6 years.  Of course, this is assuming that they overeat, that they don't adjust their intake for the extra calories. I don't know.  I guess, that maybe, I should be really worried about how that chocolate milk is going to make them one pound fatter in 6 years.  Really! How do I sleep at night? I am a terrible mother!  We can ignore the fact that most of my children are rather skinny.  Three of them tend to hover between 1 and 25% on the growth charts.  My 8 year old wears size 4T pants as capris. What am I thinking?  I've got to stop this chocolate milk madness.  Truly!

And you know, DL might have convinced me to spend a moment considering whether or not she could be right, but as I sat watching her let her kids eat  the huge chocolate chip cookies that also came with the lunch, I kind of forgot about the chocolate milk.  I wonder how much sugar those cookies had in them?   Actually, I don't care.  I'll take the cookie and the milk, thank you very much! Yummy!


http://www.pillarsofmodernman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/chocolate-milk.jpg

Unplugged- Turning off the TV and the Computer

While I have great respect for people who don't own a television, I am not one of those people.  I also admire people who eat only whole organic foods and run marathons.  I just can't quite bring myself to join them. But, I think they are all very awesome!
So, this blog entry today is about summer fun and baby steps, like from that movie "What about Bob?"  Baby steps to the door.  Baby steps to turn the knob. Baby steps to the car. .  .Bob was OCD and had ISSUES.  Baby steps to unplugging.

I'm not OCD. No, really, I am not.

I'm not.

This isn't about that anyway.  It's about summer and what I'm doing with my kids this summer. It's about how it is going to be a great summer!  Step by baby step.

I love summer!  I love having my kids home for summer.  I love no homework and less scheduled activities.  I love a more relaxed schedule.  I love getting to be with them.  Every year before summer break starts, I take some quiet time to think about what I want to accomplish during the summer break.  It's only 10 weeks long and it will be over before we know it.  I'm one of those people who has anxiety on the first day of summer because it is going TOO FAST ALREADY! So, I stop and think and then form a plan.  Some years we have worked on academic deficiencies in very specific ways, using worksheets and computer programs to help individual children as needed.   We work on Reflections, Science Fair, and History Fair.  We do science activities, art days, zoo days. . . it just depends on that year.

This year we have a pass to Thanksgiving Point, so we will be going there about once a week on the way home from me teaching piano lessons to 4 nieces and nephews in Orem.  But, the main theme of the summer is going to be," Have fun."  We need a break from forced academics. We need to just enjoy each day. Seize the day!  We need to slow down and enjoy each other.

There are two things I have done to promote my theme:

1. The cabinet of fun.

The cabinet of fun is a small hallway cabinet in, well, our hallway, of course.  It is situated against the wall in the hallway by our front door.  It usually houses various things like lunchboxes and scriptures. So, I cleaned it out, and, unbeknownst the the children, filled it with things from the dollar store. I revealed the stash when the got home on the last day of school. They were pretty thrilled. It currently houses playdough, bubbles, chalk, a lizard that grows in the water, and ring pops.  I will replenish this cabinet as needed.  The bottom shelf is for library books because my kids love to go to the library.  The rules for the cabinet of fun are simple: use the items and have fun. I also bought a kiddie pool for the back patio. It doesn't fit in the cabinet, but it's pretty fun.

2. The second intentional change in our home is to unplug.  What do I mean?  I mean we have agreed not to watch T.V. or play video games on the computer or other devices between 7 a.m. and 4 p.m. every day.  The kids have also agreed to get up by 8 a.m. and get their chores done by 9 so we can get busy having fun.  This is a very lenient rule.  I mean, there's a lot of time after 4 p.m. where the kids could watch tv or play a game.  We are only a week in, but so far, nobody is counting down the time until 4 o'clock. They are too busy having fun.  And besides, I'm not trying to completely deprive them of technology. I'm just trying to help them rediscover some simpler joys, ones powered by their own bodies and their brilliant imaginations.

There are so many things to do when we choose to put the breaks on the easy entertainment.  Yesterday, Clara and I sewed a skirt for her doll. It was so nice to have the time to do that with her.

In one week of summer, we've already managed to have a lot of fun:

  We went swimming at the big pool.  We went to the park.  The girls have been riding their bikes.  They are playing with everything from the cabinet of fun. They are being creative.  Amy spent some time making duct tape fans before heading out with her brothers, my dad, my sister, and three of her kids, for a trip to the Grand Canyon.  I went on a 4 hour hike with my friend Janice yesterday.  We went to a summer party. They have played at friends' houses, played with water guns, helped me cook, and played soccer.  We've eaten a lot of ice cream too.  Ice cream is important.

And I've finally found the time to start teaching my kids piano lessons. And they are practicing!  It's pretty awesome to hear the same two songs being played by 5 different people.

One week of summer break is already gone, and I'm not very happy about that.  But, I am happy about how that week went.

What will the rest of the summer bring?  Well, you never know what will go in the cabinet of fun, but I plan to keep it loaded.  I'm not sure what else.  I think we are going to actually take a family trip- maybe Bear Lake or Yellowstone.
For the most part, I'm taking it one day at a time.
Hiking.
Board Games.
Gardening.
Art
Science
Sewing
Reading
Walking
Riding
Playing
Creating
Talking
Anything

I love summer!