Sew Sew

On Monday I broke in my old/new sewing machine and put together a table runner inspired from a pinterest post..

  I caught the sewing bug slowly. Very. Very. Slowly. I was introduced a long time ago. . . .

My mom sews like a pro.  She made us clothes, costumes, tote bags, whatever we wanted.  She fixed our holey jeans and still does if I ask occasionally.

But I never wanted to sew.

They forced me in 7th grade Home Ec..  I made an apron.  I still have it.   

It took forever and had to be TOTALLY perfect.  I got 103.  Yes, as in beyond perfect.

I hated sewing that apron. I think it took about 400 hours.

When I got married my sister helped me sew some matching pajamas as a wedding gift for my husband.  They were so cute!  And they were a big pain.  I don't remember many details, I'm sure I've blocked them.  But, I do remember the buttonholes being super hard.  I used sports themed flannel as a sign of love to my sports crazed fiance from his sports hating intended.  Ahh, the good old days. :)

That pretty much ended my machine sewing career for the next 14 years.  After all, I didn't own a machine and I couldn't afford one.  And I had zero interest in sewing clothes.  My mom remarked the other day that she tried to teach me when I was a teenager . I asked, "Did you try to get me to sew clothes?" She answered, "Probably".  I countered," I still don't want to sew clothes.  I don't know why, but they just don't appeal to me right now."

I'm not opposed to sewing clothes, but it definitely isn't what made me start to want a machine.  I "blame" my sister Rachael for that.  My Mother in law retired this year and for the first time in my marriage is available to tend during they day.  She graciously offered her services on any Monday I need them.  Rachael, always looking to help me improve myself, knew I couldn't say no any longer.  She convinced me to join the Block of the Month Class at Quilts Etc. .  How could I refuse?  It only costs $5.50 for the whole year as long as you always bring your block to the next class.  Rachael made herself and her machines available to me for sewing every month.  And I was off!

It was a crooked start.  It wasn't love at first sight either.
But, it started to grow on me.  I began to make more blocks than required.  I started to experiment with the fabric combos and the patterns.  It felt like a small way of artistically expressing myself.  Sewing is a fascinating combination of creativity, precision, math, and patience.
And slowly, ever so slowly, I started to really want my own sewing machine . I borrowed one from a friend to make it easier for me to finish my blue jean quilt-  a project also courtesy of Rachael's encouragement.

The first day my kids needed some kitty ears for a special day at school.  I grabbed some pink fabric I had on hand and whipped up two pair in about 10 minutes, just in time for them to catch the bus. The next day, Tim needed a rip repaired in his shirt.  It was quick work!

They started to beg my husband to buy me a sewing machine.  But, the timing wasn't right to spend $500 ( to get what I wanted- a used Bernina)  since we are trying to save for my upcoming jaw surgery.  I decided to save on my own and knew I could save up enough in about 6 months of working for my mom once a week.  And if you are still reading, here is your reward. Yep, it's the cool part.  The mushy, spiritual part.  Sorry, that's an integral part of me.

At the exact time in my life when I FINALLY had a strong desire to own a sewing machine, but no way to get one for a while, Heavenly Father called my grandmother home.  She had a heart attack and her kidneys failed.  The doctors couldn't help her and sent her home to die.  While she was still lucid, some time during the nearly two weeks that it took for her to die, my mother asked Grandma if I could have her sewing machine.

She said yes.

It might seem insignificant or chance, but I see the hand of the Lord and His tender mercies in the timing.  Had my desire started a year earlier, I already would have bought a machine.  The desire had to grow inside of me at just the right time.  It was perfect and a perfect testament to me, during a difficult time, that Heavenly Father is aware of me and loves me.

I would give anything to have my grandmother still living, enjoying life and serving energetically.  But it was her time.

Having her Bernina sewing machine here in my home is a little bit like having her tangible love.  My grandmother made so many quilts on that machine. I have no idea how many, but it was a lot.  She made them for all of her grandkids when they married.  She has a lot of grandkids. She made them for children, friends, neighbors, and ward members.  They were all hand quilted.

I never understood, until this year, the amount of work and money that went into those quilts.  The hours and hours of service Grandma Mary put in were her love for us, given one stitch at a time.
 There are so many things my grandma taught me.  I somewhat regret my lack of desire to learn to quilt from her, but the timing wasn't right when I lived near her during college.  Still, seeing  her Bernina on my kitchen table somehow causes the memories to frequently surface- all of the things I did learn from Grandma.  She taught me how to drive when I was 8 months pregnant with my first child. She taught me how to can peaches.  She taught me about repentance and forgiveness and service by how she lived her life.  She frequently counseled young couples to "apologize for your part." in any argument.  She called everybody "Baby" in a way that somehow wasn't annoying.  She took care of people.

And I am going to take care of her machine, and love it, and remember her, and teach my children the things my Grandma Mary taught me. Just seeing me sew is sparking an interest in several of my children and they have been able to complete small projects.  I guess they are more genetically advanced than I was as a kid. Luckily my mom is still around to teach me the things I didn't want to learn when I was young.  I have a lot to learn.

I don't know how long it will be before I can sew on Grandma's machine without crying a little here and there.  But I do know that I will NEVER forget Grandma and the influence she had on my life, from smaller things like bringing me gatorades every day for weeks when I was violently ill with morning sickness to the biggest thing of all- accepting the Gospel of Jesus Christ when my mother was a teenager, the beginning of a great heritage and legacy of her descendants joining and serving in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Grandma, thank you for all of it.