On This Long Awaited Day

When I had my first baby nearly 17 years ago, I began a mental countdown to the time when I would send my last baby off to school.  I was at the beginning of my career as a stay at home mom and I wondered what the journey would bring. Of course, being a mom is a job you never retire from, but the responsibilities change along the way.

I will never forget the feelings of new mommyhood.  How I anxiously anticipated the start of caring for another human.  I read everything there was to read about pregnancy and childbirth and I was perfectly prepared for an unmedicated delivery, which worked out somehow.  Sadly, in my obsessive focus on growing and birthing a baby, I forgot to read any books about how to care for a new life!  Poor Pittsling number one.  It was a rough beginning.

12 hours of breastfeeding every day.
2 hours of sleep at night, if I was lucky.
A little tike who needed to be held all day.
Throw in me still being in college, and it was pretty intense!

And I loved it!  I loved him!  I fiercely adored being a mother and smothered that child with all of the love that I could send out to him.

The second time around was even better.  I got an easy baby.  My boys have always loved each other and we moved smoothly into the life of two kids.  Life was so simple. Take care of little boys. Play with trains.  Watch Teletubbies. Go on walks. Play with playdough.  Change diapers and make sure the little ones gets enough sleep. Fill up sippy cups and kiss boo boos.

The kids kept coming and we did our best to enjoy the happy chaos of constant chatter and sticky fingers.

Time passed like hours spent reading a really great book that you can't put down.  I find myself asking ,"Did that last chapter really just end?"  I mean, I saw it coming. I SAVORED the last few chapters. I have no regrets, but I still wish for my powers to manipulate the rotation of the earth which haven't quite developed.

17 years. 6 kids. 5 moves.  7 preschools.   5 Elementary schools.

Amidst the joy and the struggles of raising 6 children, I often remarked that I would not be the mom sitting on the couch crying when my "baby" went to Kindergarten.  I claimed I would be partying about my well earned break.

And then, my last child turned out to be this sweet bundle of ooey gooey preciousness.

 She started school yesterday.  I sent the most adorable little girl off to be educated by somebody I don't even know.  I feel like her teacher should pay ME for the privilege of spending 3 hours a day with my child.  

It's not like I'm not busy, and free time evaporates around here like a drop of water in the Arizona desert.  Every week we have 6 kids to ferry to and from 4 schools, 9 hours of soccer, one voice lesson, two dance  classes, two after school band classes, one tumbling class, one gymnastics class, 4 piano lessons to teach, two houses to clean, a law practice to run, FHE, scriptures and prayer, dinners and dishes, laundry( Oh laundry), yardwork, homework, Sunday night Stirling Singers practice, Activity Days to run ( along with 4 other callings that I LOVE!), and about a gazillion bajillion other things, like everyone else!  So, yes, I'm busy.

But, now I have more kid free time.  And I'm not gonna cry!

I'm not.

I've made my plans and I'm sticking to them like, well, like the hot glue holding my glasses together.  It stays most of the time, but sometimes it comes apart and I have to reglue it.  I might mess up, I might get off track, but I'll just get right back on!

I have to face this new chapter and find meaning and purpose in it.  I have about 14 hours a week now without my little buddy.  And I've made some decisions about how to be a good steward of that time.  One sure way to succeed is to tell other people, so I'm telling the whole world here- or the 47 people who read this.

I am going to do the things I love and the things that matter.  I'm going to the temple once a week. I started yesterday. I am going to write more seriously, starting with a picture book about a cartwheeling otter with a messy room.  I am going to study the gospel for 30 minutes a day. I am going to do family history work. I am going to go to the gym AFTER the sun rises. I am going to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost and follow them, starting with increasing family prayer to twice a day.  My kids need all the protection they can get while living in this wicked world.  I am going to live with purpose so that all that I do has a positive impact on my kids, even while they aren't with me during the day.

And here's my question to you-

If you are kid free for all or part of the day, what do you do?

If you are not, what do you plan to do when that phase of life happens for you?

I'd love to hear from you, either here on my blog or on my facebook page!