I do not think that word means what you think that word means

Do you know what is annoying?  I mean besides me making a quilt with over 1,000 pieces and my kids having 4 Christmas concerts on the same night? Having 6 school age kids during December is, well, Deathcember. Anyway, back to the topic.  It's annoying when people use words or phrases incorrectly.
I know, I know, I am supposed to be writing sweet things in December.  And I tried.  I really did try.  But the sweet just didn't do it for me.  I want to talk about something annoying.  This might be because I'm annoyed that people have forgotten that Christmas is about baby Jesus.  So, here's ten words or phrases that I think many people need a little help to remember what they really mean, in no particular order.

1. Christmas.

Christmas is about baby Jesus. He was born on Christmas day. Now, it may have actually been in April, but we celebrate on December 25th.  And people seem to be really confused.  Elves on shelves. Reindeer.  Santa. Lights. Candy, Presents. BUY, BUY, BUY, GIMMEE, GIMMEE. Where's my 300 inch TV and Mega playstation X-Box Wii-U power jet-stream video console?  Okay, I'm just kidding about those first things. I love all the fun traditions, from the pickle ornament to Santa coming down the chimney, but we do need to remember to make sure that we ( all of us who are Christian) teach our little kiddos that Christmas is actually a religious holiday, not only a chance to cash in big time on toys and a sugar coma.

2.  Yoga.

 Some people think yoga means wimpy easy exercise that they could do, but are too cool and strong to do.  Nope.  Yoga is actually pretty hard.  Today I watched a body builder try yoga for the first time, and he actually whimpered during a difficult pose.  So, don't confuse yoga with the little green man from Star Wars. It's not just calm and philosophical.  It's also majorly difficult and strengthening. And really really amazing.

3. Turn Signal

This one really confuses people in Utah. Here in this beautiful desert that has blossomed like a rose, some drivers are less rose-like and more skunk-like. Their driving,well, it stinks.  Some confused drivers think that a turn signal is an obsolete lever. They never use it.  These same drivers, when presented with an active turn signal on another vehicle, lose all rational sense, accelerating their vehicles just enough to prevent the other car from moving lanes. Sometimes they are so mistaken by the meaning of this flashing light that they honk and swerve, like a wild chipmunk protecting it's nuts.


4. All the strange words teenagers use when texting. Enough said.

5.  "Just a sec."

My nine year old keeps saying "Just a sec!" when I tell her to do something or come somewhere. And then, about 25 million seconds later, she complies.  I think, the only logical conclusion here is that, well, she has no idea how long a second lasts.  We're talking about one second. Boom! It's done.  There's another one.  Yep, they go that fast.  Nobody should ever say that.  It's much better to say      "Just a minute" if you don't want to be a liar literally one second after you speak.

6. " I could care less."

Guys, if you want to tell people that something is of no interest to you, don't say, "I could care less."  That means that you do in fact care about the topic, at least a little, and it's possible that you could, at some point in the future, care less than you do already.  You are pretty much inviting people to keep going on an on about the thing that you really "couldn't care less about." When you couldn't care less, you have reached the bottom of not caring, no further movement is required.  Don't invite people to give you a reason to care less than you already do.

7.  Fast Sunday.

I'm serious about this one. I'll never forget the time my little girl told me that she couldn't understand why we call it Fast Sunday when it goes slower than any other Sunday because we are starving!  Okay, now Mormons know what fast Sunday means, or at least, they should.  But, I think a lot of people might be just as confused as my little girl.  Fast Sunday, in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, happens on the first Sunday of the month. We abstain from eating and drinking for two meals and donate the money we would have spent on that food to our church to help others in our congregation and neighborhood when they are in need.  And, honestly, no matter how good you get at denying your body food, it really isn't a "fast" day, but a day to "fast".  Isn't English great?

8. "Stop it."

I know there are children in this world who grasp the concept of this phrase, but they do not live at my house.  In case they do not live at your house either, you could try letting your short people know that the phrase "stop it" is a request/demand to immediately cease the specific and presently ongoing activity that is causing the parental figure to feel the need to demand cessation.  Stop it does not mean "Ignore me and keep playing with matches" or "I'm just kidding. Go ahead and flush a toy car and your underwear down the toilet." It really does mean to stop moving, talking, eating, pushing, pulling, or whatever the heck naughty thing you are doing right now. Just stop it.  Stop it now.

9. Tolerance

If you don't know what that means, we can't be friends anymore.  Just kidding. But, speaking very seriously here, some people have decided that tolerance means agreeing with them.  Tolerance actually means the ability or willingness to tolerate something, such as opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.  I tolerate you people who love watching Sports.  I don't love watching Sports, but I'm also not going to try to burn your house down to stop you or tell you on facebook that I think you are devil worshippers. That would not be tolerant.  I don't agree that sports are fun to watch, but if I want to be tolerant, I can just keep my trap shut when people post stuff that is boring to me, or in person, I could smile and nod and keep my personal feelings to myself.




10. Inconceivable.

The man in Princess Bride didn't understand what this word means.  And, if you don't know what I'm talking about, stop reading this blog. Stop reading this blog RIGHT NOW! And go watch Princess Bride. It's on Netflix.

not capable of being imagined or grasped mentally; unbelievable.

My Thoughts on the World Series

It's the bottom of the 9th inning and the game is tied.  Cubs vs. Indians.  At least, I think that's what those numbers and images on the tv mean.  I'm not sticking around to find out, because my computer just almost died, so I had to go plug it in. And I wasn't watching the game anyway.  It just happened to be on in the room I was in.  I've never watched the Cubs play- or the Indians. I've seen a few Orioles games when I lived in Baltimore and some Bees games.  It was okay.  I didn't hate it.  That's actually pretty high praise from me.  I don't like watching strangers play sports.  I don't even like to watch my own college team.  I mean, I did it a bit in college, just so I wouldn't appear too strange.  But, mostly, I worked at the games selling concessions and then left after halftime when we closed the stand down.  I didn't stay for the games. My husband made me go to 2 seasons of BYU football- or was it three?  I think it was three- year one of marriage, year two( with a brand new baby), and year three ( with a wiggly toddler). By the next fall we had moved to Baltimore, so he made me go to Orioles games.  Maybe I never gave any of it a real chance, but I just don't have the chemicals in my brain to be a fan.

Okay, so I strayed a bit off topic. I'm supposed to be telling you what I think about the World Series.

I think it is very exciting . .

for

other

people.


And I'm very happy for them- all of them ( and possibly you) who are excited by this.  I'm especially happy for whichever team gets the victory.  It could be over by now.  I don't know, since I left the room at the bottom of the 9th in a tied game.  It might be over.  Anyway, I'm happy for you people with the brain chemistry that allows you to get excited about these things.  It must be thrilling.

It must feel like . . . watching a great symphony?

No?

Okay, how about the thrill when your baby is born?

No?

Um, how about when you almost get hit by a car, but you don't, so you're glad you didn't die?

Or, when you ace a test?

Am I getting any warmer?

How about that feeling when you are watching a really great sports movie and the underdogs win?
Okay, I actually like those movies.  I find myself caring about the fake people.  I don't care about the sports, but I care about the people, and they care about the sports, so I care about the sports.  And when the movie is based on a true story, I think that is the closest I come to understanding why people like watching sports in real life.

I just can't seem to find a team I care about in real life though. I would need to care about them as people, in a personal way, preferably with good music at key life moments. And it's way too much work in real life. Movies are so much easier.

So, I don't care about the World Series.

But, I am happy for those of you who are having a good time watching.

And, just maybe, if they make it into a movie one day, I might cry at the end.  But, in the meantime, I have to admit that, well, the NOT caring, it feels REALLY good. Cause, no matter what is happening right now, I'm happy.  How about you?

I Never Thought We'd Join This Club: Food Allergies

A while ago on facebook I shared the news that my second oldest child, Tim, has been diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitis, or EOS, or EE, or Allergic Esophagitis.  We found this out after his second episode of choking/ER visit in two years, a trip to the GI doctor, and an endoscopy with a biopsy.  He also had a barium swallow.  And the fun continues.

Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EE)

Eosinophilic esophagitis (EE) is an inflammatory disease of the esophagus. The esophagus is the tube that connects the mouth to the stomach.

With EE, there are a large number of white blood cells called eosinophils in the esophagus.

You probably wonder what these eosinophils are exactly?  Well, here's a link for that.

https://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/service/c/eosinophilic-disorders/conditions/eosinophil

Okay, so my kiddo has this, and his esophagus is in bad shape right now. He has to currently take acid reflux medicine and a steroid, and today we were finally lucky enough to get in to Primary Children's to the clinic with doctors that specialize in this condition.

There are different approaches to treating this disease.  One is to treat the symptoms- thus using the steroids and the acid reducer, and also dilating the esophagus as needed.  Another approach is to identify the cause of the inflammation and to eliminate it, so that the esophagus will heal.  Sometimes, this is possible and the steroids and other treatments can be stopped.  Sometimes the steroid has to be continued and the allergens have to be avoided.

So, let's talk about my kid for a while.  Tim's esophagus is so inflamed that he has to keep taking the steroid for a while.  In the meantime he was tested today with a prick test on his back for around 40-50 different things, mostly foods.  And the results were. . . .

. . . . .
. . . . . . . . .

We colored while we waited. It was 3 hour visit in all. 

Is this annoying?  Sorry, I had to wait a lot longer than one second to find out the results.. . . . .  .

The top left is the control- histamine. But, you can see he did react to a few things.

The results were that he is allergic to. . .

cats

dogs

grass

trees

green beans

AND

beef

We're not heartbroken about these results, although he does love a good steak occasionally, we don't eat a ton of green beans or beef.  After the prick test, Tim had his blood drawn for further testing, this time for all kinds of beans, and a bunch of other stuff that I can't remember. This was probably the worst part of the visit. The first stab wasn't quite right and he nearly passed out.  The gal had to remove the needle and put ice on his head and neck for about 5 minutes before his color came back.   For now, he is not to eat any beans or beef.  Next week he will have a three part test called patch testing, where different foods will be applied to his skin for 3 days and monitored after two days and then again after three days to check for a reaction.  After all of these tests, we will have a more complete list of the foods that his body doesn't like.  He's really hoping he gets to keep dairy, but it's very likely to be one he is asked to eliminate. We'll see.

The GREAT news is that his Dr. is not asking him to do a broad elimination diet, where the patient eliminates the 6 major allergens and then slowly adds them back in if possible. Those 6 are wheat, dairy, soy, nuts, fish, and eggs.  She is more a fan of targeting likely allergens, and understands that is easier for a child/teenager to follow.  With studies showing that going on an elemental formula amino acids diet clears up the eosinophils in 70% of patients, it is most likely that the foods Tim is allergic to are causing his problems.

Right now I'm feeling really grateful that we don't eat a lot of beef and I've never forced him to eat green beans, although he says he does eat them at school. He doesn't eat a lot of these things.  He doesn't like any beef except steak.  I'm grateful to have some answers and cautiously optimistic that we will find more answers and his esophagus will be able to heal.  In the meantime, with 3 people positively allergic( of the 4 who have been tested) we are definitely still not getting a cat.  But, the rabbit can stay.  Lucky little unfriendly bunny.

For now, he is still allowed to eat chicken sandwiches and french fries. Lucky kid. 

Where Love is, There God is Also

I blogged about music a few months ago, but I'd like to write something more specific and personal about a positive example of music influencing my life.

When I was a little girl, my siblings and I sang a song for a ward event.  I think it might have been a talent show, but I'm not certain. My early childhood memories flit about like cotton candy loose on the wind, and I can't always remember the details.  I remember singing with my oldest sister Rachael, older brother Michael, and my older sister Sarah.  I don't remember if my younger brothers were old enough to participate or not.  We went to a ward member's house to practice because she was playing the piano for us.  The song was called,"Where Love Is." It can be found in the Primary Children's Songbook on page 138. While I can't remember all of the details, I have never forgotten what truly matters.

I have never forgotten the way I felt.  I was very young, but I felt the Spirit so strongly.  It was embedded in my heart the entire time we were singing.  I believed the words of that song.  I felt safe in my family.  I felt love. I felt the love of my family.  I felt God's love.

I have never forgotten the words.

1. 1. Where love is, there God is also.
   Where love is, we want to be.
   Guide us, his truths to follow
   Help us obey him faithfully
2. 2. Where love is, there God is also.
   We think of him rev'rently.
   Teach us to pray, to talk with him above
   And know that he will guide us with his love.
3. 3. The comfort of loving arms around us,
   A song that makes us want to sing,
   The happiness we feel when love has found us,
   'Tis love we get when love we bring.
4. 4. Where love is, there God is also.
   And with him we want to be.
   Show us the way and guide us tenderly
   That we may dwell with him eternally.
5. Words: Joanne Bushman Doxey, b. 1932, and Norma B. Smith, b. 1923
   Music: Joanne Bushman Doxey, b. 1932, and Marjorie Castleton Kjar, b. 1927(c) 1972 by Joanne Bushman Doxey and Marjorie Castleton Kjar. Arr. (c) 1989 IRI.
6. https://www.lds.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/where-love-is?lang=eng

I have never forgotten this tender lullaby of a child,singing to her parents, asking to be shown the way.  I have never forgotten the sweet whisper of the Spirit telling me that I had goodly parents who were doing these things, showing me, guiding me, teaching me to pray, to know His teachings, and to follow him.  

Music is so powerful. When we hear music, the message bypasses any defenses we might have set up, and it settles in our hearts and minds, as "Where Love Is" settled into my heart. It stayed there and has been a frequent comfort to me.  I will be eternally grateful to my parents for making my childhood home one where good music filled the rooms and soaked into the walls.  I hope I am succeeding in doing the same for my precious charges. 

If you'd like to hear the song I've been writing about, click on the link below to hear a fantastic rendition by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. 
Where Love Is

Suicide Soda- I Know Better, But I Keep Adding Flavors

This post is not actually about suicide or soda, but it is about what a suicide soda represents to me. For those who don't know, suicide soda is when you mix every flavor available into one cup, a cup from which you intend to actually drink.  When I was a kid, I thought this was hilarious! What could taste better than caffeine free Dr. Pepper with some orange, grape, lemon lime, and root beer thrown in?  Mmmm.  Yummilisciousness!

Yep, that's what I thought back then. Life was so simple.  And there were no immediate consequences for my choice to mix beverages, or even for my choice to drink carbonated sugar water. Sigh. Those were the days.

But those days are over.

And now onto what this post is really about.  A few days ago, I literally spent 4 hours inputting responsibilities into my google calendar.

 Literally.

4 hours.

By the time I was done, I wanted to strangle my husband and every fluffy bunny in the world. This was no fault of my husband or the bunnies, but rather an unfortunate truth for him and them that I just didn't feel like I had time left for anything or anyone, no matter how cute or adorable. I had the calendaring crankies.  Poor Juddy. Poor bunnies.

And I did it to myself. I surely did.  I just kept on adding things to the mix, until I had what some would call a recipe for disaster.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?  AM I INSANE?  WHEN AM I GOING TO SLEEP?

These, and other thoughts, raced through my head as I made entry after entry.

When I was a new mother, I dreamed of the day I would send my last child off to first grade, and sit home with NOTHING to do, watching TV, reading books, or whatever else I wanted.  Freedom would be mine and it would taste sweet like the nectar of the gods.

And, you know what?  If I wanted that freedom, I could have it.  Nobody makes me drive to Orem each week to teach piano lessons. Nobody forces me to clean my mom's house. Nobody made me agree to be PTA President( although some people have asked how I was coerced).  And nobody forces me to go to the temple, or to the gym, or visiting teaching, or anywhere else.  Nobody made me agree to drive my boys to early morning seminary either.

As my kids would say, "Aw Picklenuggets!"  Sometime between new motherhood and 18 years later, I guess I grew up a little bit.  I found out I don't really want to sit around all day with nothing to do.  And I sure as heck don't want to stay home so I can clean and shop all day. That's just not for me.

I like the things I've chosen to do. I don't love that my kids go to 4 different schools, but it's a choice we made and I own it.  I don't love driving all over for voice lessons, gymnastics, band, dance class, soccer, and other appointments, but I love the little people ( and some big people now) that I'm driving around and I love watching them develop their talents. I hate that my son has been diagnosed with eosinophilic esophagitis, but I would give up every free minute of my day for appointments, tests, and procedures for as long as it takes to find out what's causing it and make it better.

I do these things because I love the people I serve.  I LOVE my 5 church callings (They are really pretty easy).  I love the ladies I visit teach.  I love God.  I love my kids and I love other people's kids.  So, yes, just looking at my calendar can sometimes cause intestinal problems, and it's a bit of a juggling game, but I hope I can do it with grace, kindness, and humor.  I'm excited for this crazy year. I'm excited to help my firstborn apply for college, turn in mission papers, and to drive him all over the place for Madrigal performances.  I'm excited for all of it- the crazy, the hard, and the happy.  Maybe I should know better. Maybe I should have stopped adding flavors to the mix.  I did tell Clara NOOOOOO  the other day when she asked to join Girl Scouts- cause my cup is just plain full right now.  But, I love that full cup of crazy mixed up deliciousness.

I even love taking these two to the orthodontist

True Stories from the Front of the Minivan: 3,500 Miles Later

If you are friends with me on facebook, and most of you are if you are reading this, you know that my family recently took a roadtrip.  I made it look really good on facebook.  But, here, and now, with plenty of while space in front of me, I'm going to spill the real deal, well most of it anyway.  Here are 25 truths about our road trip. The include the good, the bad, and the ugly.  If you want to cling to the idea that everything was fairy tale perfect, return to my facebook page and look at my photos again. For the rest of you, enjoy reality:

1. Judd and I didn't sleep much the night before our trip. He got 4 hours of sleep and I got 2. Luckily, we made it to Boise alive the next evening.

2. Three hours into the trip, just as I started driving, I notice the check engine light was on!  NO! We had just had the van serviced the day before.  Luckily, again, it ended up being due to the gas cap not being properly tightened when we filled up.

3.  I thought staying with someone I had never met might be awkward, but Lizzie Buchmiller, her cute baby, hubby, and his Mom and brother were all really nice and we greatly enjoyed our night with them. It was honestly a highlight of the trip for me.

4. Soda Springs, ID. . . . the blowhole geyser thing was kind of cool. It goes off every hour because it's controlled.  Apparently, it was messing up Old Faithful.  But, what isn't cool is the free mineral water that is bubbling up from the ground at a nearby park.  It's a lovely setting, but the water tastes like a rusty pipe. Judd loved it and drank several glasses. The rest of us gagged and spat repeatedly to get the nasty taste to leave our mouths.

 

5. Camping "on the Oregon coast". . . I was hoping to actually be camping on the beach, but it was about a 3 minute walk.  That was still cool.  We were super cold and got hardly any sleep, which resulting in us all waking up at 5 AM and being the very first people on the beach to hunt for sand dollars. We didn't take them ALL, but we took most of them.  You snooze, you lose.

6. Tillamook Cheese factory was a free self guided tour and it was a very pleasant and interesting experience.  Less pleasant was the experience an hour later when Audrey expelled her Tillamook cheese and chocolate milk all over the back of the car.

7. Seattle. . . it was a lot of fun to have dinner and hang out with my cousin Christine Larsen and her family.  The Space Needle was interesting and so was the Chihuly glass exhibit, but what I found to be the MOST interesting thing was all of
the Toyota Prius' in Seattle.  In SLC, my orange car is pretty rare, but they use them as taxi's there and tons of people drive them, so they were all over the place!

8. The Redwood Forest is as cool as everyone says it is.  Usually, I feel disappointed when I see something I've seen pictures of before. It's never as big as I thought, or as grand. But, those trees are bigger than I imagined and, well, simply breathtaking. The mosquitoes were less breathtaking, and more bloodsucking.  Bring bug spray!

9. We made our kids watch the TV series Avonlea on the trip. It took about 8 hours of it before they got into it, but now they are hooked.


10.  San Francisco. . . It was a lot of fun to walk around Pier 39.  We loved seeing the Zoltar machine, the chocolate store, and the left hander store.  This was also the only time that one of our kids got lost.  Thank goodness that Emmeline knew to get a store keeper to help and was able to provide him with my name, number, and the store we were walking towards.

Alcatraz

11. Another interesting thing about San Francisco is that Clara was able to walk around wearing a Sponge Bob SquarePants robe for 3 hours without getting any strange looks.  Um, okay.

12. One of the things that I did to help me stay awake, and also to keep the kids from fighting, was to make up songs while driving.  The favorite of the trip has the following lyrics:

I feel jiggly
I feel wiggly
I feel brainless
I think I am a jelly fish

You wish you knew the tune now, don't you?

13. We managed the stay in 9 different places over 12 days, and only lost one mousepad and a pair of tennis shoes.  I feel pretty good about that.

14. We went to a waterfall in Oregon that was stunning- Multnomah Falls. It was free and easy to see it.  People were just as stunned by the waterfall as they were by a family with 6 kids. Really. We were an oddity everywhere we went.

15. Getting on a cruise ship with 6 kids turned out to be quick and easy.  I was expecting it to take a long time, but we showed up as early as possible and got right on for a delicious buffet lunch. Reuben spent 5 minutes walking around and then declared there wasn't that much to eat. Apparently, 7 sandwich choices is subpar. However, they were quite pleased with the 24 hour access to ice cream.

 

Emmeline and Audrey slept through dinner on the second night

16. My kids were horrified by all of the drinking and exposed skin on the cruise ship.  And the smoking, And the pornographic 3D decor in one part of the ship.  Many of them decided they would rather not cruise on a "fun" ship again, but wanted to know if there were any Mormon cruise ships. Other cruise highlights were the two barfing episodes, one fever, kids club fun, delightful night time dining, and the water slides at the top of the ship. 
 


17. Ensenada, Mexico was also disappointing to our kids. We walked around and shopped, and tried not to see the ceramic porn being sold at most stands. And I was utterly disappointed that the only Mexican vanilla for sale for the same stuff I can buy at Walmart- but it cost more in Mexico! We did find some other nice things to buy.

 

18. When we disembarked on Sunday, we wore our church clothes.  We always wear dresses and suits on Sunday. It was sad that many people remarked on our attire and were surprised by it.

19. The LDS ward in a sprawling country town in Washington where we visited on our first Sunday got a C for friendliness. We were in our seats 10 minutes before the meeting started. Many people walked past us, but not one person acknowledged us, until the meeting was over and one Young Woman in the hallway invited my daughter to class. Good for her!  And thank goodness we weren't investigators. We wouldn't have felt very welcome.

20. We drove through Portland, OR 3 times.  Once was one time too many. The traffic was horrendous.  Utah drivers are extremely rude, but at least the traffic isn't all that bad compared to the big cities we passed through.

21. It is possible to fit all of the luggage and camping supplies for 8 people for 12 days in the back of a Sienna minivan, as long as you wear your clothes twice and wash halfway through.  And making everyone share a toiletry bag and a pajama bag and a church bag and casual clothes bags. . . you get the picture. . . was a fantastic decision.

22. Las Vegas. . .third exposure to porn .  I don't know what people like about Las Vegas.  As a person who would never ever gamble, not even for fun, I don't feel like the entertainment is worth the gaudy atmosphere. Not only was it unreasonably hot, but our hotel rooms ended up being smoking rooms. They were non-refundable, so we were going to leave and lose our money, when the gal at the desk magically was able to get us into non-smoking rooms that weren't available the first time I asked.

All that glitters isn't gold

23. I had my first meal at Costco, and I was pleasantly surprised.  It may not have been super healthy, but the pizza was very filling and the churro was surprisingly delicious.


24.  Eating out with 8 people at fast food can be quite the experience.  At nearly every restaurant we visited, our order was messed up. These were not small mistakes either.  They would miss 4-6 items per order.  After this happened 3 times, we started ordering in two separate orders. Another thing I learned is that my homemade salads are so much better than the ones at Wendy's, Burger King, McDonald's, and Jack in the Box.  For $7 you should get more than lettuce and some tomatoes as your veggies.  Next time, I think I'd be happier keeping salad supplies in my cooler.  On the plus side, it was AMAZING to not cook for 12 days or clean anything at all.  AMAZING!!!!

No cooking! Muhahahahahahahah!!!!!

25. There's no place like home. By the time we got home and finished unpacking, everyone was thrilled to sit down to a simple dinner of spaghetti.  I think three of my kids actually said that it was the best meal they'd had in two weeks!  Ha! Kids are so funny!  But, seriously, the trip was fun.  It was educational. It was bonding. It was exhausting. And it was so nice to come home.

Oakland Temple