Thursday, March 26, 2015

Dear Bucket,

Dear Bucket,
     Your dad and I have a tendency to come up with some wacky nicknames, hence one of yours being "Bucket.", but your real name is Timothy. You came into our lives two years and two weeks after our first child.  We were so thrilled to have a second son- brothers! Your entry into this world was terrifying. The doctor broke my water, thinking it would be a good idea to speed up my induced labor. It certainly sped things up.  I was ready to push 10 minutes later.  Unfortunately, this caused your umbilical cord to get caught next to your head while you were being born.  It was pinched in half.  Every time I pushed, you lost your oxygen supply.  We didn't find out there was a problem until I'd been pushing for about 20 minutes.  As you were starting to emerge, the problem became evident. Suddenly, there were a lot of people in the room.  The Dr. gave me a 4th degree episiotomy, cut your cord while you were still in me, and vacuumed you out while I pushed with all of my might.  Your first apgar score was really bad, like a 3.  Daddy rushed off with you to the nursery while I got sewn up for an hour and finally accepted some pain medication.  It was crazy!

Luckily, you were an easy kiddo.  You nursed like a champ and were pretty fast.  By the time you were two months old, you had some serious fat rolls going on.  You were bald and chubby and very sweet. Reuben loved you from the moment he found a snickers bar in your carseat the day you came home and you have loved each other ever since.

We will always feel a little guilty for not knowing until you were 2.5 that you had acid reflux, which explained why you threw up so much that I was a pro at catching it with anything available, and I mean anything.  This spawned the nickname, Chucker.  It had two meanings. The first was for throwing up. The second was because whenever you had something you weren't supposed to have, you would throw it.  I can't really remember why we called you Bucket.  I think it had something to do with your appetite and that song. "There's a Hole in the Bucket."


You have always hated milk and loved balls. Ball was your first word, followed by pump-ball, which meant pumpkin.  You never stopped loving balls, and you've played soccer since you were 2.

Tim, you are a fascinating combination of tender hearted and teaser. You cannot stand the thought of people or pets dying.  How many tears have you shed about my rabbit that was killed by the neighbor's dog when I was 8?  All you have to hear is "Dead Bunny" and you start crying.  You have a very sensitive heart.  But, you also love to tease people and make jokes.  You are just as likely to pull your sister's pigtail as to reach over and give her a hug.

Not to give you a big head, but you are brilliant, and hey, you do have a big head.  It took a few years, but now you do your homework without any encouragement from us and you find school to be fun but not very challenging.  Don't worry. That will change one day.  Muhaha!

Tim, you are one special kid. How many people do you know who have a social harem of girls           ( friends) at school?  That must be tough.  wink. wink.

You are artistic, motivated, competitive, kind, and messy. I guess you can't help your genes.

You have always been a fixer. From the time you were little, we could count on you to fix things, including your teacher's computer and a chocolate fountain at a wedding. If I can't figure something out, you're my go to guy. You're always happy to read a user's manual and tell me how to work something.

Even though you are also taller than me now, you will also always be my little boy.  Your dreams for yourself are my dreams for you.  When you were small you promised to become a builder and build me a house. Maybe that is your future, maybe something else.  Whatever you do, I know you will do it well with the same tenacity that you bring to life now. I know that you will use your strengths and your faith to conquer your fears.

I know you will be an amazing husband and father.  But, no matter how old you grow, please remember that I'll always be your Mommy. I'll always look at you and see a little bit of that baby boy from Baltimore.


Sunday, February 1, 2015

10 Random Factoids about Me

I just love the power of blogging. I can write whatever I want and put it out into the world and nobody can stop me!  Muhahahaha!!!!!  POWER!  Ok, I am working on a couple of other blogs right now, but what I want to share right now is a quick little post about 10 random factoids about me. Those who know me well probably know these things about me already, but there might be a surprise or two.

1. I have never ever ever in my entire life watched the Super Bowl.  I have also never ever ever ever in my entire life watched sports on Sunday.  I am not sorry.  My life dream is for the Super Bowl to happen and for me to not even know it happened.

2. I didn't go to High School, not physically. I was home-schooled because we lived in Russia and my parents couldn't afford the private school tuition for 4 kids.  I went to college (BYU) a year early without having finished high school and, after my first year, transferred college credits back to finish my high school diploma.  I only needed a couple of electives, so it was no big deal, but it's fun to say that I graduated from high school after my first year of college.

3. I have hyper-mobile ligaments.  This means that many of the ligaments in my body are too stretchy and allow me to move in some ways that most people can't. You can see this most clearly when I bend my pinkies all the way back to touch the back of my hand or when I open my mouth really big.  I once put around 68 large green grapes in my mouth.  I can also stand on the sides of my feet with my legs completely straight.

4. I have a burning desire to get published, probably in a magazine.  I'm starting to think about getting really serious about pursuing this, including a lot of writing and probably some classes.

5. I come across as outgoing, bold, opinionated, loud, and funny.  I am those things.  But, I am also a recovering shy person.  I force myself to be outgoing.  When I was a child I wouldn't call my best friend on the phone.  I was so scared of bothering her and annoying her if she didn't want to talk to me.  As an adult I took a job as a telemarketer to help me get over my "phonophobia".  It actually helped.  I cried every day for the three months I worked that job, but I was really good at it, a top seller.  Afterwards, it was much easier to call people I know.  But, I still prefer to text or email.  I love talking on the phone. I just don't love initiating the call.

6. I love my hair color and I like my face just the way it is.  Other than a temporary dye for Halloween, and the failed attempt at a purple streak last year, my hair has always been a natural color- dark brown.  And I like it that way.  I like my eyes, my eyebrows, my chubby cheeks, my skin, and my nose.  I like my face without makeup.  Other than occasional lipstick and daily moisturizer, I don't put anything on my face.  I'm sure I could look great with a full makeup job, but I don't care.  I don't mind that I have short eyelashes- at least they are black.  I hate mascara.  I love myself with my glasses and without them.  I realize that while I'm not stunningly beautiful, God gave me a pretty good face and I'm grateful.

7. I think that mixing mint, chocolate, and raspberry is a SIN! Ok, not a sin, but disgusting. I was never exposed to this until I moved to Utah and it is just wrong!  Stop it people!!!!

8. I love cooking, but I hate cleaning.

9. I love gardening.  It burns calories, I get to play in the dirt, and the children don't destroy my work every two hours.  Planting something and then watching it bloom or harvesting fruits or vegetables is seriously so exciting for me.  It might be nerdy, but I'm owning this gardening passion.

10. My sense of integrity is probably pretty annoying, but it's who I am.  I am not 100% perfect, but I can only think of a couple of times in my life that I withheld information from my parents.  I just don't believe in lying or deceiving.  I'm not about to go around telling people they are fat or ugly, but I won't ever tell a lie to protect myself from looking stupid or getting in trouble.  I will keep my mouth shut if I feel like my opinion is not valued or to avoid a fight, but if you ask me to my face, I will always tell the truth straight up.  I can't be another way. It matters too much to me to be true.

Ok, well, those are the random factoids that came to mind today. What are some random facts about you?


Thursday, January 8, 2015

My Favorite Things

I was enjoying using something today and I thought, "This is one of my favorite things.  People who don't know about these NEED to know!"

So, I'm telling you.  Warning: If you don't already own these things, you might want to buy them.

This post will be entirely about material belongings. Yep, it's about STUFF.  I have a lot of stuff, but I'm not really overly attached to most of it.  But, I do have some items that I really like.

Here are 10 of my favorite things, in no particular order:

1. Bosch Mixer.


About 9 years ago I borrowed my mom's Bosch Mixer because I had the rolls assignment for Thanksgiving. Everything was going fine until it jumped off the counter. The load was unbalanced so it wiggled.  It just kept mixing.  It still mixes just fine today.  It is very old- at least 20 years I think. Anyway, I saved up my money for years to buy my own, and then my husband bought me one for Mother's Day about 8 years ago.  It proudly occupies a permanent spot on my counter- my very limited counterspace.  I am a serious bread maker, and serious bread makers usually prefer Bosch.  It's big. It lasts.  It has a lid.  It can have all of the fancy attachments too, like a blender, food processor. . It's one of those items that you have to wash right away so it will be ready to use again that day or the next. Love it!

2. Blendtec blender


When I had my jaw surgery in September of 2012 we splurged and bought a Blendtec for $300. Ok, I like nice small kitchen appliances. This blender literally kept me alive for 8 weeks. It is amazing!  I can make the most incredible snow cone ice in about 30 seconds.  It can grind wheat, popcorn, nuts. . . you name it. And with a REAL 7 year warranty, it's worth the money.  I had to get a jar replaced.  I asked the girl how I could void my warranty. She said the only way would be to use the blender commercially. I said, "What if I accidentally drive over it?" She said it would be covered.  They sent me a new jar for free with no hassle.  Seriously, this blender rocks.  It also has to get washed right away so I can use it again soon.  I have used it over 1,000 times since I got it.  The proof is in the picture.

3. Grown up dustpan


If you are a grown up, why would you use a dustpan for midgets?  If you are a little person, I understand.  I have converted most of my family to tall dustpans. They have a handle so you don't have to bend over.  You may have seen them at movie theaters. They cost about $15 at Home Depot. I've had mine for about  9 years.  It hangs on a hook next to my broom.

4. Robot Vacuum



 While we are on the topic of sweeping, I must admit that I still love the robot vacuum I got a few months ago.  I hardly ever use my broom and dustpan now.  Not only does it clean my floor, but it forces us to pick up the toys and other stuff the kids throw on the floor.  Win, win.  They are pricey, but it was worth every single piano lesson that I taught to buy it. Now, my floor gets swept while I teach piano lessons . I named my robot vacuum Alice, and I love her!

5. First years baby spoons


My mom loves to eat with big spoons.  I love to eat with little spoons, especially little plastic spoons.  We have a set of baby spoons by  the First Years company.  It is just really pleasant to have that smooth plastic spoon and to savor every teeny tiny bite. Everyone in my family loves them too. Don't knock it til you try it.


6. My new smartphone


Um, this one should be self-explanatory.  This is like a modern day miracle in my life. Smart phones finally became cheap enough that it costs the same price as a stupid phone.  I am so seriously happy!

7. Chapstick


Ok, everyone has their vice, and mine is chapstick.  I am addicted.  I cannot live without it.  I couldn't lick my lips after my jaw surgery for 6 weeks at all and then I was still banded shut 20 hours a day for months and then 16 hours a day for many more months.  I still needed chapstick. There is no cure for this. My favorite lip addictions are Lip Smackers A&W, Bath and Body Works Mentha Shimmer Tint and Burt's Bees.  But, I'm not picky.  I will try and chapstick and I would go to the store in the middle of the night if I couldn't find any.

8. My piano


My piano is a Yamaha upright. My parents bought it a long time ago.  I'm not sure when, but I think I was around 8-10 years old when they got it, so it's something like 27-29 years old.  That piano was my first baby.  It has some dings from children, but I love it.  My parents gave it to me when I got married.  Having a real piano in your home just feels right, especially when someone plays it.  While I dream of owning a baby grand or grand piano one day, I don't think I could ever give this one up.  If my house burnt down while we were gone on vacation, that would probably be the item I would be the most upset about losing.

9. Electric toothbrush and dental floss


Ever since I started having mouth problems almost 5 years ago, I became rabid about oral hygiene. In fact, I became too rabid and somehow developed thrush at one point and then an allergy to mouthwash.  But, my electric toothbrush has stood by me through it all.  I'm so grateful for these simple items that help to keep my teeth clean.

10. My pillows and my minky


Last, but certainly not least, I LOVE my pillows.  I have a 100% down pillow and a memory foam pillow. Together they are perfection.   Actually, you have to add in my minky blanket and then you have perfection.  My friend Lori Gilgen gave me a minky blanket for an adult after I had my jaw surgery.  It is so soft.  That blanket truly became a security blanket for me.  Each night when I had to go to bed with my mouth banded shut I would put the blanket over me and pull up a corner to my cheek and let it comfort me.  It was physically painful to have my teeth banded shut and mentally scary.  That blanket got me through an entire year straight of sleeping with my mouth banded shut.  I still sleep with it every night.

What are some of your favorite things?


Saturday, January 3, 2015

Dear Bat Baby,

This post is number three in a six part series of love letters to my children.

Dear Bat Baby, otherwise known as Amy,

     It's probably not good to start out by making you mad, but I couldn't resist. Bat Baby was such a great nickname, even if you don't like it.  You don't remember Grandpa Kevin holding you up high and flying you around the house, while singing "Bat Baby", his own little ditty. You loved it!

Ok, so, let's get down to this love letter here.  Amy, you are my special child for so many reasons.  You were my first daughter.  I wanted my first baby to be a girl, but he was a boy.  So, then I wanted a girl second. . . .BOY.  Of course, I then wanted a girl.  And I got one!  I was soooooooooooo excited! I couldn't wait to dress you up. .  hee hee heee.

Amy you were born during a unique time for our family. When I was 7 months pregnant I moved with your brothers from Maryland to Utah, leaving Dad behind to finish law school.  I was due the week of his graduation and we wanted to come back to Utah, so we had to come early.  It was really hard to be separated.   Luckily, we were living with my parents, so it wasn't too lonely.  Daddy flew back the day after his last class. He could only stay for one week, then he had to go back for the graduation ceremony. Usually, we wouldn't spend the money for an extra trip like that, but we didn't want Daddy to miss your birth. You were due May 18th and graduation was on the 21st.  Daddy flew back May 13th during the day.  I went into labor the next day and after 15 hours of wimpy contractions my water broke. You entered the world 45 minutes later, my first baby born "my way".  This was my first delivery where I was assertive with the care providers. It helped that I was able to use a midwife.  You should have seen everyone scramble when I declared that I was about to push out the baby and that I would be delivering on my hands and knees, so "GET READY!"  When you were born your face was black and blue because you had been facing the wrong way and it got bruised. But, you were okay. You started life as my biggest baby- 8 lbs. 8 ounces, and weighed 10 pounds at your two week checkup.  While labor wasn't hard with you, afterwards a piece of the placenta remained inside of me, discovered days later when my uterus started to contract constantly.  It took about 24 hours to get the attention of the midwifes, despite repeated phone calls.  I had to get some powerful medicine to cause more contractions to get that out. But, then I was fine.

You were an easy baby in many ways.  You nursed for 5 minutes at each feeding.  5 minutes.  Total.  about 2.5 minutes per side.  I couldn't make you nurse more and you gained a lot of weight, so I was just grateful.  You had the good fortune of spending your babyhood living in your grandparents house with two parents, two grandparents, and two teenage aunts who adored you.  This was great for us, since you ended up deciding to only like 5 people.  Me. Dad. Grandma Dellory. Katy. and Uncle Eric. For a long time, these were the only people that you really liked.  We were all relieved when you decided to accept the other loving relatives in your life.

I did some things differently with you.
You never had a bottle.
You learned how to eat with a spoon without making a mess by the time you were 12 months old.  You really wanted to and Grandma told me to give you that spoon. So, I did. You could eat a bowl of cereal with milk in it and not spill.  You were a good eater, which was so nice after two picky boys.

One of my favorite baby memories of you is doing your hair.  You didn't have very much, but I was determined, so instead of pig tails, you had pig sticks.  If you look in photos, they are barely discernible.  You were a good sport about that. Eventually your hair grew in. Now you have enough hair for three people.

Amy, you have always loved to learn.  You are a smart cookie.  You love reading books. Sometimes it's like looking back in time at myself.  You love girly things, but you are also very practical.

When you were about two you started speaking in big long sentences, and you've never stopped.  It's so fun to be your mom.  I often get remarks about your answers at church.  People are stunned by your knowledge and insight.  I also frequently hear compliments about your singing voice- the voice of an angel.  I'm so pleased that you choose to share this talent.

Amy, you are a go getter and a hard worker.  You are kind and compassionate.  You have your moments, or your snits as we call them, but you always come back and apologize for being cranky. You know what is right and you want to do it.  You have always believed the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You are such a great example to all of your siblings and friends.

My daughter,  I have watched you now for 11+ years. I have loved seeing you grow. I feel so blessed to have been your Activity Days leader for the last three years.  I know you are anxious to turn 12 and join the Young Women's program.  And I know that you will embrace it and love it.  That's just the kind of person that you are.  What other kid would ask the bishop 6 months ahead of time if she can get her temple recommend for baptisms the minute she turns 12 so she can go perform baptisms for the dead on her actual birthday?    That's cool.

You are smart. You are beautiful.  You are a daughter of God and you know it.  You are good and kind, motivated to achieve, but you would never knock down another person in your quest to better yourself.  When my cousin came to live with us this year, you graciously gave up your beautiful room that you had all to yourself for 6 years.  You did not complain.  You agreed to share with Clara. When that became hard, after a struggle, you decided to take positive steps.  When told you could ask for only 3 things for Christmas, two of your wishes were for a white noise machine and a curtain for your bunk bed to give you a little privacy.  I know it's hard to have your bedroom be a passageway between other rooms. You have been so gracious about this, and it has made it easier for everyone.

That's the kind of person you are.  Amy, I'm so blessed to be your Mom. I could write pages and pages of stories about you serving others. Even though I am your parent, you are a strength to me.  I love you my first daughter!


Love,

Mom


Great Teaching

Last summer I went to Education Week with my friend Janice. Yes, Janice, you made it into the blog again. That's what you get for hanging out with me so much!   I attended a series of classed called "Great Teaching." It was geared at Seminary teachers for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Seminary is an optional class offered to youth from 9th-12th grade.  In Utah, and possibly other places with a high concentration of LDS members, it is taught by professionals. Otherwise it is taught by faithful members, willing to sacrifice sleep and time to teach the scriptures to the youth.  This class was taught by Scott Knecht who is a Regional Seminary Instructor with many years of experience.  I learned a lot from spending a few hours under his tutelage.

Because of my personality style( a 4 from Dressing Your Truth, a Red/Blue from colors, or a type A) I really want to share what I learned.  It changed my teaching in a way that is simple but profound.

I've  always enjoyed teaching and have some natural ability.  Or call it talent. Or maybe it's a combination of talent and a 4 year degree focused on becoming an educator.  Anyway, one of the most important things for any teacher to understand is that the teacher is always a student as well.  Learning doesn't end. There isn't a moment when you have arrived at the pinnacle of knowledge- you don't ever really graduate from learning.

So, I was really excited to learn how to be a better teacher.   By the way, I currently have a calling as a Relief Society teacher in my ward, which means that I teach the adult women who aren't serving in the auxiliaries for the Young Women( 12-18 year old girls), Primary (3-12 year old kids), or nursery  ( 18 months to 3 year old kids).  We usually have between 15 and 30 women in attendance.  I teach once every other month. In many wards, instructors teach once a month.  I like how my ward works.

Ok, so back to what I learned.

The instructor started out by telling us he wasn't going to use any technology that we wouldn't have easily available to us.  He used a chalkboard and the scriptures.  I was hooked from that moment.

Obviously I cannot use one blog entry to go into great detail about what Brother Knecht taught over several hours. I do need to add that I also attended a class on family scripture study. It was taught by two seminary teachers who helped develop the new curriculum. The teachings from both of these classes went hand in hand, but because Great Teaching focused on being the teacher, I'm going to write about that right now, but I really learned the same concepts in both classes.

In no particular order, following are the FOUR concepts that really stuck with me:

1. Teach from the inside out, not from the outside in.

Sometimes we are afraid to use the sources provided to us to teach a lesson.  I'm talking about the manual and the scriptures.  These contain the content that we are supposed to cover.  Sometimes, the first time I read a lesson, I have a moment where I think," How am I supposed to teach this?" The lessons contain one generic teaching tip at the end, but no other guidance. And I admit, I have often been guilty of using the technique of teaching from the outside in for most of my gospel teaching past (except for my last two lessons).
 Teaching from the outside in means bringing in outside sources or thoughts to make a point and then supporting them with the scriptures and the lesson manual.

 Example: - Reading a quote or story you found on facebook  or in an interesting book by a really inspiring individual about charity.  Then, sharing the scripture from the lesson about charity.  This is using a scripture to support the first quote. It's really easy to do.  I didn't understand the power that was lost by downplaying the primary sources we should be teaching from.  We do not need to be afraid to teach from the materials given.  We do not even need to bring in outside sources. It's ok to have some supporting information, but only if the supporting stories and quotes are used to support the scriptures/lesson and not the reverse.

Teaching from the inside out means to share the lesson material, one small part at a time, and then support it with discussion, stories, and testimonies. I was initially afraid to use this method, thinking the class would just stare at me.  But, it worked. It is more complicated then simply reading the lesson out loud and asking the questions in the back. If you do this, it will be a boring lesson.  FACT. So, you need to do a few more things. Keep reading. I promise this will be worth your time if you try these ideas.

2. Do not ask for answers.  Give the answers right up front. Ask for responses. Try to ask questions that open up the conversation rather than shut it down.

Ask questions that are thoughtful, not devil's advocate thoughtful, but truly thought provoking.  Ask questions that allow people to gain a deeper understanding of gospel principles being taught and to share their testimonies of these principles.  Asking for answers looks like this:

Where should you aim for getting married?  (temple)

How old do you have to be to go on a mission?  (18,19)

When was Joseph Smith born? (1805)

Asking questions that have a definite answer sets people up for failure. It makes the class uncomfortable.  It is the job of the teacher to GIVE THE ANSWERS before asking questions.  And remember that people need time to process questions.  It's great to go ahead and put your questions up on the board at the beginning of the class. Give the class time to think about it.  The longer, the better.
Here's an example of questions that invite responses:

Ex:  We all want to get married in the temple so we can be sealed with our families forever. Does anyone have an experience you would like to share about preparing for your own temple marriage?  How does having a temple marriage strengthen you personally compared to a civil marriage?  How have you taught your children the importance of a temple marriage?  What do you do in your own home?

Take time before the lesson to think of great questions. Ponder and pray to make sure you have picked the right ones.  You only need a few great questions for a 30-45 minute class. Great questions invite conversation and testimony. This leads up to the next point.

3. The teacher is not really the teacher.  The teacher is the architect of the lesson.  The true teacher of the Gospel is the Holy Ghost.

The goal of every lesson needs to be to invite the Holy Ghost so the class members can feel the Spirit and be edified.  How do you invite the HG into the lesson?

-Every lesson is about the Savior, even if you think it isn't. Remember that.
-Teach the doctrine.  Keep it simple. Don't try to embellish the lesson, rather try to explore it as a class.
-Follow these four steps. 1. present the doctrine. 2. strive to understand what it means. This can be accomplished by cross referencing, pondering, discussion, quotes from conference or prophets. .  .whatever it takes to truly understand what is being taught. 3. tell/invite others to tell stories that support the doctrine. 4. Bear testimony (yours or a class member)

4.   Help the class members feel comfortable, safe, and valued.

-I talked a little bit about this before with the types of questions you ask. Ask questions that invite discussion and personal sharing rather than questions that set people up to be right or wrong.  This can be a hard change to make, but if you think about it, when somebody answers the question "What should you do when you need guidance?"with "Read your scriptures."  we don't feel the spirit.  It's boring.  Everyone already knows the "answer."
But, if the teacher said," (Reads a scripture)We are taught in the scriptures that when we need guidance we can turn to the scriptures for answers.  Would anyone like to share a story from your life of when you needed guidance and you turned to the scriptures and got an answer?"

Those stories will be personal testimonies of the principle "If you need guidance, you can find answers in the scriptures" and the Holy Ghost will testify to all who are willing to feel it that it is true.

-Some people do not like to talk in class.  Changing the questions you ask and how you ask them might not be enough for them to want to talk.  One way to help them participate is to occasionally invite class members to share with their neighbor or a small group.  Never cold call on a person who is not comfortable talking.  You could ask them earlier in the week so they can be prepared and also have a chance to say yes or no privately.  Some people do want to talk, but feel shy.  Pay attention to the class members. Watch for body language indicating that someone really wants to share.  Someone playing with their hair or ear or looking intently at you might be a sign that they are thinking about something they want to share. You can carefully invite these students to share. Look at the person and say something like" Do you have a comment to share?"  Or just point at them with a question in your eyes?  If the response is a no, accept that without any further prodding.

-Most importantly, make sure the class members feel like they are important.  When I taught last Sunday I put a quote up on the board. It was something Brother Knecht said "Great teaching is a great conversation with students that leads to great learning."  Without the students, there is no lesson.  You are not teaching "your" lesson. You are teaching the gospel to people.  I told my class that there was one of me and 30 of them, so they had 30 times the responsibility to make sure the class was great.  And it was great because a lot of people shared their ideas and testimonies. As a teacher, make conscious choices to let your students know that you value their thoughts.  Go beyond a simple "thank you" at times. Maintain eye contact.  Do not look at your lesson or the clock while someone is sharing.  Validate their comments by summarizing what they said. If someone says something you loved, tell them. If you felt the spirit very strongly, say so. If you are going to use an idea yourself, admit it.  If you never thought of something that way, share that.  One great idea Brother Knecht uses sparingly is when someone makes a comment that just really is what the lesson is all about and brings the Spirit so strongly, that touches everyone, he will say,"I think you were here to make that comment today in this class."  Whatever you say, be genuine. However you say it, if it is heartfelt, the class members will really know that you value them as equal participants in the lesson.


So, that's it. 4 things.

1.Teach from the inside out, not from the outside in.

2.Do not ask for answers. Ask for responses.  Ask great questions that open up the conversation rather than close it down.

3.Make sure to invite the true teacher to the lesson- the Holy Ghost.

4.Help the class members feel safe, comfortable, and valued.

That's all.

 I didn't have oodles of time to prepare for my last two lessons, but I used my time to study the lesson, to think of good questions, and to make sure I was presenting the material from the inside out.
 Based on the responses I got and also on the feelings I felt, I know that by using these techniques we were able to invite the Holy Ghost to teach us the things we needed to learn.  Participation was high and the feeling in the room was of acceptance, love, and sisterhood.  The ideas are simple, but they really work.  They don't require anything fancy, although it's fine to have videos, music, handouts, visuals, cookies. . . you get the picture.  These are all good, but they aren't necessary. They aren't vital.  The Spirit is vital. The Gospel is vital. Conversation is vital. And safety is vital.









Sunday, December 21, 2014

Dear Rooster

So, it's been a while since I started my 6 part series of open love letters to my children.  Now that I have 5 minutes to breathe, I thought it was time for installment number 2.

Dear Reuben,

      As my first born child you hold a special place in my heart.  It stinks for the other kids, but it's great for you!  I was practically a child myself when I first became a mother.  I married at 19, and acting in faith and a desire for a large family, we did not wait to start our family.  After 5 months of marriage, your father and I found out that you were on the way.  We were thrilled!

Extreme happiness soon morphed into severe nausea and vomiting, made worse by my early schedule and intense class load.  I was in a program at BYU for Elementary Education majors. It was a cohort program, or a group of students put together for all their classes.  We went out to elementary schools and observed/helped 2 days a week. Then we had class all day long for the other 3 days, usually on site in a portable classroom on the elementary school grounds, so we could go inside and see the techniques demonstrated.  I will never forget professor Brad Wilcox. He was a great teacher.  I slept through most of his classes that semester. He knew I was sleeping. He let me use the couch in the room.  I got an A.  I did actually earn that A.

In order to have more time to be with my first baby, from the moment I learned I was expecting, I accelerated my education.  During Spring/Summer term I took 21 credits.  You were due the beginning of October, so I only took one class that semester, a 3 credit class that was taught once a week in the evening for 3 hours straight.

The blessed expected due date came, and passed.  Argh! It was so hard to wait!  We drove from Provo to Kearns to spend Conference weekend with my parents. My brother in law Dave tried to "gong" you out.  Apparently, that worked.  I went into labor at midnight that night.

After 3.5 hours of labor, and I mean 3.5 hours total from the first moment that I knew you were coming, you were born at 3:33 AM.  You have continued to be an intense person.

We brought you home on my 21st birthday.

The first thing we noticed was your elf bump and your alert eyes. You were taking it all in and making mental baby notes.

Reuben, you were a difficult baby, but also full of joy.  You insisted on being held, nursing for 12 hours a day, and sleeping with Mom and Dad.  Once we gave into your desires, things went pretty smoothly.  You got your first two teeth at 5 months and walked at 8.5 months.  You decided crawling was for other babies.  By 9 months you were talking. Up was your first word, and you never stopped after that one.

Because you were my first, I could go on and on about your babyhood.  There are so many memories.  You are the lucky kid who actually has a baby book.  And pictures that got printed.  But, I don't want to write a book, just a letter.

While there have been times we wanted to pull our hair out( remember 4th grade homework sessions), for the most part you have been a really great big brother. Every time I brought a new sibling home, you were excited.  You love babies and little kids and they usually love you back.  You show a tenderness and patience with them that is not typical of 16 year old boys.

Before you were 2 you started to sing and you have developed that talent( you are welcome for the lessons) as you grow. We still expect you to find a wife based on your lovely polished voice.

Seriously.

Reuben, you are funny and smart. You go to school, church, and even early morning seminary without prodding or complaint.  And that is impressive since complaining is one of your specialties. I know that you are already a stellar young man and that you will be an amazing grown man, a faithful missionary and a devoted husband and father when the time comes.

As I have watched you grow the last few years, currently at 5'10" and still growing, watched your feet and hands get bigger than your dad's, watched you excel in areas at school that we can't really understand, I get a glimpse of who you will be in a few short years.

In 2 years and 6 months, you will graduate from High School and be eligible to leave on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Some people like to worry for you because you are a picky eater. They think it's going to be a problem for you.  I know that it won't. I know that either 1.You will go to France and live on bread and cheese or 2. Heavenly Father will make you equal to the food set before you.

I am not worried though.  I'm not worried about the food or the mission, college, or girls. I'm okay with you not wanting to date yet.  I'm okay with you being a cautious driver.  I'm fine with you liking the class Chemistry more than the romantic chemistry.  I've only got a short time left with you and I'm not really eager to give my little boy up to another girl, not yet.  But, when you are ready, I'd be happy to help you with date ideas. :).

To my firstborn, lover of muffins, the child with the most nicknames- Rooboo, Rooster, Rooberry, Roobaroni, Roobunny, Roobird, Ruby, Wooooooben, (I'll stop there), I want you to know that no matter what choices you make or how messy your room is, no matter how kind or snotty your behavior, no matter your hairstyle( which I like), your wardrobe( eh), or your strange and random vocabulary blurts, I will always love you the same today and tomorrow as I loved you with the wide eyed magical wonder of the moment when I first held you.

Love,
Mom

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Chintzy Gifts

chintz·y
ˈCHin(t)sē/
adjective
adjective: chintzy; comparative adjective: chintzier; superlative adjective: chintziest
  1. 1.
    BRITISH
    of, like, or decorated with chintz.
    "brighten the room with fresh paint and chintzy fabrics"
  2. 2.
    informal
    cheap and of poor quality.
    • miserly.
      "a chintzy salary increase"




Recently, it came to my attention that, some people feel that my husband and I give, well, chintzy gifts.  I'm going to be completely honest with you.  This hurts. 

I want to say, "It's the thought that counts."  I guess it doesn't count with everyone.

I'm going to be straight with you.  I have 37 nieces and nephews, two parents, two inlaws, 7 siblings with 6 spouses,  and 3 siblings siblings with two spouses on my hubby's side. And with 6 kids of my own, we get a lot of birthday party invites!  We live on one income and our kids currently qualify for Chip and reduced lunch.  We've had two very modest vacations in the last 7 years.  They weren't glitzy, that's for sure.  We don't go to first run movies(EVER), we don't eat out at tipping restaurants, we don't buy our own children expensive gifts.  We do choose to spend money on things that matter to us, such as soccer, voice, and dance lessons.  Our kids have enough to eat and clothes to wear.  They are warm and loved, but we don't have an abundance of money floating around.  I can pinch a penny with the best of them.  And gift giving is one area, of many, where I am often able to use my skills.  

Maybe sometimes it doesn't work out.  Maybe people can tell.  Sometimes I buy a less expensive gift at full price just because I think it is something that will be appreciated, like a $5 hand crank Ikea flashlight for a little kid or bathtub color tabs.  Yep. These are cheap gifts.  I don't think they qualify as chintzy, but maybe I'm just plain wrong.

I don't know.  I've tried really hard to give gifts that are worth more than what I can afford.  I accomplish this by shopping great sales, giving things that are inexpensive but heart felt, and making homemade presents.  
When I spend my time making something, I feel like that adds value to a gift.  I'm not going to defend myself with details of all of the great gifts I've ever given.  No, I have a much better plan, more entertaining for you too.
So, what can I say?  It hurts a great deal to find out through the grapevine that we have this reputation.  But, if that's how people feel, I thought I'd better focus on my talents. In honor of chintzy gift giving, I have created a list to help me and you with future holiday gift giving.

TRULY CHINTZY GIFTS

Dear Beloved Friend or Relative,
Instead of agonizing for months over what to get you for Christmas this year, knowing that you will think me chintzy ANYWAY, I've created a list of everything I plan to give you for the next 20 years. Please feel free to give me your input about the order in which you would like to receive these amazing presents.  

1. A Box of checks from my checking account, all voided. Use them however you can.
2. Empty shampoo bottles from the last 5 years.  You can use them for water storage.
3. A do it yourself Compost Kit, aka, a bag of rotten kitchen scraps.
4. A scrapbooked page of me! I know, right? The best part is in the picture I will be doing an activity that YOU have always wanted to do.
5.A tshirt( from DI of course) good for a discount at a Mexican restaurant, in another State.
6. A new chapstick made from the dregs of all of my old chapsticks. You know those parts you can't get out?  I have my ways.
7. 1/2 of a twix bar.  I wouldn't want you to get fat.
8. A year's supply of all of the coupons that I got in the mail last year.
9. A special selection of my favorite girl scout badges, carefully mounted on the back of a cereal box.
10. 25 year old bubblegum.  It's got to be a collector's item by now. You're welcome!
11. Your least favorite movie( a VHS from DI again, where else?).  I just know if you watch it over and over again you are going to learn to love it!
12. A 2 liter of opened orange soda.  I changed my mind about drinking it when I read about what they put in that stuff, but I'm sure you'll be fine.
13. A coupon for the FALL FRUIT OF THE MONTH CLUB. In other words, you are granted access to my apple trees.  Make sure to pick them all.
14.Movie tickets I won over the radio. They are only good for tomorrow.  I hope you're available!
15. Water that a dolphin swam in.
16. A rock collection starter kit.  I got a few rocks from my neighbor's
yard to get you started.
17. A sand collection start kit.  Collecting is so much fun.  This recycled baggie has your first specimen from the Great Salt Lake.
18. A newspaper hat, custom fit just for you.
19. A bag of peach pits, apricot pits, and plum pits. If you plant them now, in 10 years you'll never go hungry.  
20. All of my notes from college.  It's going to hard to part with these, but I love you enough to give them to you.

To my beloved readers, 

I could surely use more good chintzy ideas if I am going to keep my reputation strong. Please take a minute and leave your ideas in my comments, section.  Thanks!

And,oh, I can't resist

21. A "free" subscription to my blog.  I know, this one is pretty special.